Audacity To Escape

"LOVE IS ALONE"

A conversation of love was happening inside the room with broken chairs, dim yellow light blub and three chairs and a table.

She was talking in a normal voice range,

“We planned to have four children, isn’t it funny? "Without knowing what our financial status would have be in the future, we planned that we would travel to turkey, as it was only common favorite place of us, we decided how we both would be going to deal with each other’s anger", A warm smile appeared on her face.

“You cannot believe, how he agreed to vent out my anger on the walls of our room as I have a habit to write on the walls whenever I get angry".

The psychiatrist started writing something, Alba looked bothered as if she wanted her(the psychiatrist) to completely lost in her story.

She continued,

"I was so foolish when I was in love, but not only me".

She looked at the old blub hanging over her head and then towards the two people sitting infront of her.

"He was also foolish who allowed me everything  and anything to do with his house and you know what?

"What did he use to do? He never said a single word to me whenever he got angry with me. He’d always kept silent till the moment he cools down, but I was the one, who knew how to make him cool down"." He loved me, I loved him, still how can we end up like this?"

the psychiatrist can see tears flowing from her eyes now.

She rubbed thoes tears with the back side of her hand politely.

"The problem was not having a wrong time with the right person, the problem was we both were wrong for each other".

"Why do you think like that?" The psychiatrist asked.

"I was the person who needed love, he was also in need of being loved passionately, two needy persons, who wanted the same thing could never suffice each other, one must has to become creditor with no hope of returs".

"In my story, we both took part in it, but in the end, we were unable to truly love each other, "Because he could not help me with something he was lacking, he could just simply say some words of sympathy and look at me with pity but he could never fill me up."

"I was not unhappy with him, I have spent the best part of my life with that person, and I have lived one of the best memories I could ever live in my past."

She sighed,

"Then why did you leave him"?

The psychiatrist could see a glimpse of satisfaction on her face.

"This answer might not be sufficient for you but…she stopped, taking a glimpse of that blub again with a deep breath she started,

" I have never known WHAT LOVE IS".

The psychiatrist was not expecting this answer.

"When he used to laugh at my jokes, I named that happiness "love", when he cared for me I called that “care” love, When he used to hold my hand, I called that coziness “LOVE”. When I was sad, I called his hug, a shelter to me “love".

"Hidden in all these emotions, in reality I never found out what “LOVE” was?

"Aren’t all these emotions you show to a person you love?"

"Showing all these emotions to someone you love and calling these emotions love is not the same thing," Love is also an emotion but love is different from all of other emotions. It's separate, "LOVE IS ALONE".

"What is love to you then"?

"Well, I am still struggling to find out what actual love is".

"After spending 10 years with that person you are unable to find love, but  I can see a message of “I love you” at the end of every chat?"
"She laughed at this question"

"Have you read our all chats?"
"Yes, I have".

"From the state of ANGER, After asking him why didn’t he inform me before going out with his friends, to the stage of CARE of asking him did he eat anything? Isn’t it what you call love"?

"That’s why there is a message of I love you at the end of every chat".

Footsteps coming closer to them could easily be heard now.
"Time up!!"

Alba shrugged her shoulders.

The policeman came inside to take her with him back to the lock-up.

After standing up from her chair she looked into the eyes of her psychiatrist, and then to the lawyer who was sitting right next to them, throughout the time.

“Take me out of here, so I can find out the meaning of love”.