Most beautiful pain | 2jin LOONA

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They say love is the most hurtful thing in the world and especially your first love is going to hurt like hell and the very first-time Heejin heard about it she never stopped thinking about it. Even if it doesn't look like it, it was one of her greatest fears: falling in love. Looking around her at all these people who suffered from it and even died made her feel like falling in love was one of the worst things on earth. There are some happy people, dare I say a lot of people, who are in a happy relationship, whose feelings were returned and therefore stopped the hanahaki inside of them for a long time, but not forever. Heejin still remembers the time she noticed her parents weren't even in love. She never saw her Mom's favorite flowers coming from her Dad's mouth whenever he was coughing; they had no flowers growing in their garden, whether it was her Mom's or Dad's favorites. Mrs. Jeon never coughed her Dad's favorites either. Heejin was 14 years old when she realized their marriage was probably forced because of her Mom accidentally getting pregnant with Heejin. At first, she thought it was quite sad; knowing your parents never loved each other. But over time she decided for her to think that it was the best thing that could happen to them. They never fell in love therefore they never had to suffer from unrequited love and didn't die from it.

It brought Heejin to the world and even though it's tough she's happy to be here. She has great friends and a stable job and she can do whatever her soul desires.

Just thinking about the times when her teacher entered the classroom with the sad news of another student passing away due to hanahaki made her feel nothing but emptiness. The first five or ten times it felt really bad, it hurt a lot, even if she wasn't friends with some of them, but after time passed she learned how to get used to it. What other choice did she have?

People fall in love and they die; people fall in love and live a happy life together. Probably marry each other and even have kids. Was this something she wanted? She wasn't sure. She never even truly felt her parents' love so thinking about falling in love was even harder to imagine. But the constant feeling of something missing in her life couldn't leave her alone.

Park Chaewon, her best friend she encountered back in 5th grade, wasn't exactly having the same opinions but never tried to convince Jeon otherwise. They've been friends for so long and know how to understand and support each other. Chaewon was rather feeling like love was destined to be, that no matter how much you try not to fall in love you eventually will. There's got to be someone in this big world who feels like home, like a comfortable person to be around and with. Of course, you can find all of these things in a friendship too but love is just something stronger. And once you fall in love you will know how it feels and how it is different.

"You can have crushes but none of them will compare to something big called "love"! Now, don't look at me like that, I've never fallen in love before, or else I probably wouldn't be here because you never know how your first and last love is going to turn out but I have a good feeling about it. It's either a good feeling or a great hope that I created to not feel hopeless and to be able to believe in anything. Give people something to believe in and they don't feel that miserable anymore." Chaewon once stated. Heejin thought about it a lot but still couldn't overcome her fear. Life felt too good sometimes for it to be thrown away because of someone not loving you back. Chaewon was right, Heejin thought, but did she want to admit it out loud? That was a whole different thing.

Hyeju decided not to comment on that but it was clear as water to Heejin that Hyeju agreed with Chaewon. Sooyoung was a hopeless romantic. She was waiting for her first love to come, no matter the outcome, whether she died from it or not. She wanted to love. If she also wanted to feel loved was another question.

And Heejin just wanted to know what love is. Her inner self wouldn't ever let her say it though.

Today's plan was very simple: get the drugs from the storage room, go meet the client, get the money and make sure to advertise it so that he'll buy it again. Then return to the club and when the real party starts at 1 am, try and have fun just like other people who came to the club. And of course maybe even ask some of them if they would like to buy stuff from them. Finding new clients was never a bad thing and Sooyoung was glad to hear they found themselves a new regular customer which meant more business and more money. Heejin and Chaewon often crawled out of their little den and just do regular things as normal people do. If you had to ask, they never tried any drugs to obviously stay clean and not get addicted because otherwise, they would lose them as their runners which was not exactly beneficial because their boss likes them. Hyeju has been working for them the longest and was never caught or anything so Heejin and Chaewon wanted that title as well. They for sure did not want to be untrustworthy to their boss.