A Little Story About A Man And A Woman On A Highway

This little story begins with the attempts of one man to fit himself underneath the dashboard of his car. It was obvious from the start that he wouldn't fit, at least not with the rather direct way he was trying. However, driven on by an almost primal need for it, the man looked futility in the eye and stopped being so gentle with his attempts.

Better that than dealing with all this...other stuff, he thought. The man waved his hand at it. "All this other stuff" happened to be the dead-stopped traffic stretching far enough for the him to lose sight of it, and it had been that way long enough for him to lose track of it too.

Then the dashboard spoke to the man.

"So, will you be finishing up soon or shall I strap in for a long go of it, sir?" it asked.

"Please don't make this awkward, Dash. Er...more awkward," the man replied.

"Am I supposed to be silent while you ram your knees into my undercarriage then? Wouldn't that be rude of me? Not praising your thrust, sir?"

"Uh...my thrust doesn't really need any praise..."

"That's rather arrogant of you, don't you think, sir?"

The man tried getting himself under the dashboard again.

"Not really," he said.

"Too good for it then, eh? I see. I am to simply lie here and take it like a common cupholder."

"Hey, man, I resent that," the cupholder drawled out in his usual half-awake way.

Dash sighed. "Oh no, not you. Never you, Cup. You do your job admirably and you do it well. I merely meant other cupholders, of which there are many."

"Aw, hey, thanks, man, that was real nice of you to say. I try my best, you know."

"I do know it. We all do."

"We do? Since when?" the darkness beneath the dashboard asked.

"Quiet now, Dark."

"You be quiet you upjumped numbers board."

"As spoken from the one who provides nothing of use at all."

"I provide fun banter. And it's not automated either. How about that? Sir?"

"Your banter is no better than y--"

"Hey, wait," Cup interrupted.

"Yes? What is it, Cup?" Dash asked.

"How do you know I'm not common, man? You're not lying to me, are you?"