The Chase

42 Luca

My wolf howled with joy. I could feel him, pacing in my mind, eager to push forth. Wanting to believe her words, if she was pregnant it was impossibly early for even her to know. She seemed to be happy, I hoped she wanted this. Like I did.

Evie thinks she is pregnant, we were going to have a baby. A family. My baby wouldn't be much younger than... My thoughts came to a sharp stop. I just had a vision of a future, one where Elijah and Lark's child, and mine and Evie's would be raised side by side. All of us together, at Gold Creek. I looked around the table. At the two people I thought were the most powerful creatures alive right now, and they had both said Evie was the one with all the power.

Evie and I were not welcome at the only place I had ever called home. The man I had loved as my brother, had banished me. The way things were right now, he wouldn't want his child anywhere near mine. He saw Evie as a threat, a risk. He would think the same of any children we had. I know his mother wanted to see the best in her son, but Elijah was stubborn to the point of being bullish. He had grudges left over from elementary school. His history of grudges coupled with the complete lack of any contact from anyone at the pack let me know where I stood at Gold Creek.

"Our child will be loved." Evie, was looking at me. Squeezing my hand with one, her other over her lower belly. I remembered the daydreams she had, our first was a girl. Evie dreamed of being the kind of mother she had read about and seen on tv. She was going to try and cook, more. Learn to make really, good birthday cakes. She wanted to read bedtime stories, and tell fairy tales. Be the tooth fairy, have elaborate santa traditions.

Evie was telling Ash and Auris. Auris slash Basalt, about what she saw while she was in her trance. That was big world problems. I had a mission. To focus on Evie. I had been running from getting too close to the storm that I knew was Evie's mind. A million thoughts and feelings all the time. I ran towards it this time while they talked about the nightmare she had been determined to see through until the end.

Something had happened right before she woke up. It felt like she, expanded. Like whatever she had seen, what she had experienced had changed her. She was still her, just there was more of her. No one else had said anything or seemed to notice the change. I kept trying to figure out what she wanted. No one ever wanted my input in these kinds of meetings. Elijah wouldn't ever admit it, but the recon info I brought back from his interpack meetings had been crucial to the pack's improvement. I was already very skilled in looking like I was following the conversation, just unable to add anything useful. Evie was upset, I hated slowly cloaking the bond so she didn't notice as I focused more on her, on her feelings..

I swam in our bond. Letting myself open up to everything she would share, anything at all. I felt like I was in a small canoe in the middle of the ocean during a storm that could wipe small islands from the map. I heard the other's talking, asking for silly details from Evie's experience. Wanting to know every color she saw. Did the world look normal. Trying to get her to focus on the shadows. So many questions.

While I gave in to her, Ash and Auris Basalt weren't asking about her. What she needed. I wanted to give up. To turn back. She needed a break, and a snack. I wanted to take care of her immediate needs and comfort. I needed to know what she wanted. I needed to know what goal to aim for before I could help her.

I fought the storm. Feeling every change in her mood, every thought she had, trying to fight through. To find her center, figure out what she needed from me. Suddenly I wasn't in the room with Evie anymore. All around me was darkness. The wet smooth ground under my feet offered no reflections. I could see no horizons. There was no source of light. There was just me.

When I used to spy and assimilate information in Alpha meetings for Elijah, It had felt like I focused my senses watching, listening, thinking. Listening to how the others in the room had changed with each topic. Hearts beating quicker and breathing catching for a bare moment. The silent physiological tells. That was all I had focused on. Before it had been guess work, looking for tells, slips while speaking. Tangible things. This time I had focused only on Evie, my bond with Evie. It had felt the same as I entered the zen like space I used to focus. Then it was different. Cold thin Jello. I blinked and I could hear the room. Feel the chair. I was there and I was. Here.