💗Little Space Journal💗

🍡My phases of trauma🍡

So me a little right now and me just realized my phases of trauma and me wanted to say it here because me have no where else to put it :P

1) Not understanding ~ when I was getting raped I had no clue what was happening

2) Kind of Understanding ~ I was seeing Child Sexual Abuse PSA ads and I kind of realized what was happening

3) Ignorance ~ I tried to think that this was normal but I couldn't

4) Realizing ~ When I really realized it was when my mom caught my brother sexually abusing me

5) Forgetting ~ People say "you can't forget rape" well I sure did for a while-

(Basically 2 years later when I turned 13)

6) Depression ~ I didn't realize it but I was getting depressed-

7) Hypersexuality ~ Some people might remember when I was kind of Hypersexual- I literally just wanted people to tell me I was good and useful to them and that was the only way I knew how

8) Full Realization ~ I fully realized I got raped and I didn't want to hide it anymore. I really wanted help

9) The final phase, for now, ~ I am now having issues talking and trusting people, especially men. But now I also notice that I literally cling to a few specific people who are boys- and I feel bad when I'm not around them