Holes of Glory

The Proposal *GONE WRONG* 😱😱

Fred walked into the bathroom stall. He was feeling very sad. He started to cry. How could it possibly have come to this? He was doing everything right! He was sure she was gonna say yes. He thought back to the beginning, retracing his steps, wondering where he went wrong.

He and his girlfriend Kylie had been on a road trip to New York from Florida. When they got there, he was gonna propose. They were gonna finally tie the knot after ten years together!! He had taken months to plan this trip. The road trip would be full of conversation, talking and lots of love. They would stop in little motels to sleep, hit all the roadside attractions, and finally reach the Big Apple, where he reserved the largest Honeymoon Suite of the Peninsula Hotel, and would propose with a grand gesture of Kylie's favorite band One Direction singing her favorite song "What Makes You Beautiful" as he got down on one knee.

He had spent thousands of dollars on this trip, and he was very excited for it to pay off. He just hoped Kylie would say yes.

The issue was, Kylie didn't say yes. In fact, when the time finally came, 1D had bursted through the doors and Fred had knelt down, asking, "Will you, Kylie my one and only little babygirl, be my wife?"

Kylie replied, "No, fuck you asshole. You don't even care about me. You just care about your work and expanding your Dildussy® empire. I need a man who needs me too, and you're an embarrassment of a boyfriend. I could never have you as a husband, Fred the federal tax evasionist."

"But Kylie," Fred cried, "I did everything! I even got your favorite band to sing your favorite song!"

"You fucking pig! My favorite song is Perfect by Ed Sheeran," Kylie screamed. Then Kylie left the suite, Fred the CEO and his billions be damned.

"But they're both...British..." Fred trailed off, then sighed in defeat. He fell to his knees, slumped over, and began to sob.

"Blimey mate, that's tough," Harry Styles said, patting him on the back.

"Yeah, sorry it turned out such a bloody mess for ya my dear chap," Niall Horan popped into the conversation.

"If you want, we can give you a 50% discount for our services," Zayn Malik generously offered.

Fred the CEO sniffled, wiping his tears and turning his face up toward the boy band. "You'd do that for me?" he asked, emotional and grateful.

"Of course, love," Liam Payne said.

"Yeah mate," Louis Tomlinson soothed sympathetically.

"Wow, thank you all so much," Fred cried, jumping up from his fetal position and pulling them into a group hug. "At least someone cares about me!"

"Anytime, love" Harry Styles said, rubbing circles into Fred's back.

"We've got you," Zayn Malik soothed.

Fred was about to cry again, but he fixed his countenance and stood up straight, officially ending the group hug.

"All right, I'll have the $500k wired to each of you by tomorrow," Fred said, his businessman instincts kicking in.

"Thank you so much, love," Zayn Malik said.

"Yeah, love ya mate," Niall Horan cheered, "good luck to ya!"

"Ta ta, my good chap!" Liam Payne interjected.

"Toodleoo Fred!" Louis Tomlinson bid adieu.

"Hope to see you again sometime, love," Harry Styles declared.

1D departed, and Fred just knew they each would be counting on the half a million, so he had to get on that!

You see, Fred is a rich and successful billionaire CEO. That's how he could afford to get the whole 1D together for such an occasion. And it's true, he's a very busy man who has his Dildussy® — the dildo and pussy, 2 in 1 pleasure toy — business to attend to. If he wants to uphold his status as the wealthiest sex toy seller, Fred must conduct his business, even if it takes up most of his time and keeps him away from his long time girlfriend, Kylie.

But he was trying to spend more time with her! That was what this whole road trip proposal idea was for! He took weeks off of work to plan it and then actually make it happen.

Fred thought it had been going great, too! He and Kylie were always talking about this or that, just fun stuff that couples talk about. They talked about their lives, what they've been up to, how it feels being an important business magnate, what it takes to be a successful CEO, oh yeah and about the book he's writing, and the trouble with a few of the distributors and the taxes, and okay maybe he does need to lay off of his business and actually pay attention to his partner.

He guesses he just hadn't noticed how selfish he was being, but Kylie never complained to him. She seemed to have been attentively listening to Fred's rambles about the chance of expanding the Dildussy® product market by adding Vibranal Beads and Soundussy Rods. That darned Roger from Quesadildos® had been steadily climbing up the "Biggest Sex Toy Companies" ranks, and Fred needed to get ahead. It's not his fault it takes work to be the best, you know.

Well, anyway, after the whole rejection fiasco, he'd fallen into a depression. After he'd sent the money to Louis, Liam, Zayn, Harry, and Niall, he stayed in the Honeymoon Suite, alone and too sad to move, for almost a week. He locked himself in, stewing in his own sorrow, only making his grief worse. He just couldn't stop thinking about Kylie and how he missed her and how she had apparently hated him for so long. How had he been so blind?

—
TBC