TRANSitional Love

Chapter 1

I stare across the cafeteria at my long time crush Jessica. She is beautiful with her long brown hair, chocolate colored eyes and legs for days. Me. I'm pretty plain, with blonde hair the color of dirty dishwater, as my mom tells me and short stature. The only thing I think catches people eyes is well my eyes. They're tan around the iris and go into a sea green color before turning gray around the edges. People tell me they change color depending on my mood. Mostly I think they're gray matching the dreary mood I'm in.

She catches me staring and waves. I quickly look down at my free school lunch and pick at my cold hot dog nervously.

A shadow suddenly crosses my vision and I look up surprised as my brain slows to a trickle. It's Jessica standing there, in front of me.

"Wow!" Slips out of my mouth before I even realize it enough to hold the words back.

She giggles, " Hey, uh Christina is it?"

" You, you can call me Chris!" I say way to loudly eliciting another laugh from not only her but the crowd of people I feel are staring at me.

"Mmhmm, well Christina I noticed we have several classes together and I hear your really smart. Would you like help me with some homework, you know like a tutor or something. I'm like totally failing and if I don't bring my grades up I'm off the squad and I'm totally trying to make cheer captain this year, so what do you say, tutor me, please!?" She begs, pouty lips and all.

"Y-yeah, sure." I stammer out.

"Great, meet me after school okay?"

"Sure, uh where-" She is already waltzing off to her table before I can get out the words.

I sit there flabbergasted as the bell rings for next class and get up still dazed as I throw my lunch into the trash can.

"Loser." Someone shouts as a spitball hits my face as I exit to the hall, followed by random people bumping into me.
"Freak." I hear next as I enter my class.

One thing you should know about me is I'm pretty sure I'm a lesbian but I'm still trying to figure that one out. I mean I'm pretty sure I find other girls attractive. However, I don't really see myself as an attractive girl nor do I want to be an attractive girl. I feel more like a guy, so does that make me different than a lesbian? I'm not sure. One thing I do know is that Jessica is hot and she has really nice boobs. I know this because we have gym together and she bares it all in the locker room.

Another thing I know...Being a lesbian in a backwards hillbilly town sucks!

As soon as I told that boy Jeremy in the eighth grade after he asked me out my life as a carefree kid and part of the student body as a whole was over.

Now I'm a senior in high school and am going to turn 18 in three months and graduate in four and I still haven't dated any pretty girls but I did kiss Cynthia in the fourth grade so you know there's that.

Anyway, way off topic. The facts are I'm gonna be a full fledged adult soon and I I have no idea what to do with my life.

I have been taking home economics and some advanced classes for college and I have discovered I'm a pretty mean sower and clothes designer so maybe ill enter the fashion industry?

Ahhh! I don't know! I wish my mom would help me out, even just teach me the basics of living but all she can teach is how to be a drunk homophobe.

You did hear me state I think I might be a lesbian well that's one fight mom and I have on the daily. "You just haven't found the right guy," or my personal fave from the guy she brought home the other day was, " You just need your need your meat hole fucked and you'll start thinking the right way, "Gods Way!"