Forever

Chapter 5. All is Not Well

Taylor's Point of View:

I covered my mouth with my hands. It was the most horrible sight I could see. Seeing your loved one hurt and maimed for life.

I felt my insides tighten like someone was squeezing them. A muffled sob escaped my mouth and I gulped the unwanted tears down my throat.

Joe stirred up at the sounds of my sniffs. His blinked and rubbed his eyes, having no clue about what situation I was in.

He then frowned and focused on my face. I was still as a statue, with tears cascading down my cheeks silently.

"Baby what's wrong?" He said, quickly sitting up. His alarmed voice mimicked the look in his eyes and he looked around for any signs of danger. I was in a state of shock. I couldn't turn my gaze away, I couldn't speak, I couldn't move.

When Joe couldn't find anything around the room, he turned his eyes back to my face and stared intently. Then he followed my gaze to his chest. I saw his eyes widen with surprise when he saw his shirt had been unbuttoned.

He quickly pulled his shirt together but he realized it was already too late. I knew.

"Taylor it's... it's nothing I..." He stuttered not knowing what to do. I looked up and met his eyes. They were guilty and scared.

"Did you do this to yourself?" I squeezed the words out of my throat. I saw his shoulders stiffen like he had been caught in a lie.

"It... It happened a while ago..." He said trying to defend himself.

My heart dropped inside my chest. He liked to self harm and I had no idea. He was hurting himself everyday and I didn't even know...

"I don't do it anymore." He quickly said when he saw my eyes fill with fresh tears. "Fuck... Taylor please don't cry. I can't see you like this..." He desperately said.

My heart started to hurt. All I could think about was how bad of a girlfriend I am. I had no idea he had been hurting himself. I was so bad at taking care of my loved ones.

"Taylor... Baby..." Joe wrapped his arms around me and I stifled my cries on his shoulder.

"Why would you do this to yourself?" I cried and sniffed. The real question in my head was, why did I let him do this to himself? I should have been there for him. Should have known whatever he was going through. But in reality I was a stuck up bitch who only cared about herself.

"It's okay baby. It's fine now." He kissed my head.

"No, it's not fine. You're hurt. You have been hurting yourself and I didn't even know." I said crying.

Joe cupped my face in his hands. "It was my choice not to tell you." He said looking into my eyes, "And I wanted to sort out my own shit without getting you involved. You already have too much on your plate." He explained.

I shook my head not agreeing with him, "Joe you can't keep these things from me. It's horrible. I... I can't believe I am this clueless." I wiped my eyes with the backs of my hands. "When did you start doing this?" I asked.

He took a deep breath and looked down, "The time we started to fight." He said in a low voice. "It was..." He hesitated. Then taking a another deep breath he said, "It was a coping mechanism for me. It took my mind off of the emotional pain." He described.

My heart ached, "Baby..." I cupped his face. "There is nothing worth self harming yourself for. It shouldn't even be an option. You deserve the world." I kissed his lips tasting my own tears that had fallen on my lips. "You are everything to me..." I said looking into his eyes.