the ending.

The meet up.

                       February 14, 2022

🏞️

This is it.
Breathe in.
Breathe Out.
You're at the park, surrounded by couples. I can't believe I'm here gazing at everyone's disgusting hugs and kisses.
But I shouldn't worry.
Alice will be here soon.

My mind is racing with thoughts of ecstasy. Throughout this isolation, I'm waiting here for my love to form a solidarity.

🎀

It was spring 2020 when I exchanged meetups with her.
Now here is our rendezvous point, at the park.
I still can't forget the moment when I saw her for the first time.

She's a red-headed girl, perusing some Nicholas Sparks books.
And that's what attracts me to her the most. Alice is reading romantic novels.
Little did I know she'd be mine.
I remember giving her a gray scarf for our first anniversary.
It was plain yet ambiguous.
It was still pretty, with the texture of pure wool.
I hope she still wears it when I meet her.
I want to see it wrapped around her neck.

🎵

We started speculating about an invisible string between us when I began to write songs about her.
It's an ineffable expression every time I start to write the intro.
Every song I've written was always about her.
She was always my inspiration and is still now.
I tried showing her my lyric composition, and somehow she fell in love with the songs.
Days later, she fell in love with the songwriter.

💘

We started dating awkwardly, but then it got casual in the end.
I can't believe it's that easy.
A popular and "everyone's crush"-type of girl would fall in love with an amateur of so-called true love.

This is it.
I'm feeling the emotions of being romantic. This is the state of grace.
From the way she talks to the way she calls my name.
I knew this would change my perspective on love.
I can feel the obsession.
I'd think of her 24/7.
Seeing her face every morning would motivate me to go on with the day.
Even on the most dull and mundane days.
I always find solace in her cute smirks.
Loving her was a burning red.

But one thing I will never forget is the day I left home because of her.
I still remember it all too well.
Both my parents assumed our relationship would be treacherous.
But it wasn't.
That was the biggest argument I've ever had in my whole life.
So I left home and moved to Santa Barbara, California.
Also to pursue my musical dream.
But we still keep in touch with my family. We chatted and shared news with my parents.
I graduated last year, and I'm out here, living the odyssey of being a 22-year-old guy.
My family still supports me, but not for Alice.
They knew she was just trouble.
But she wasn't.
I kept passing the whispers of criticism through my ears.
We all went through a lot.
And this Park is our comfort place.
When we need a break, this environment soothes our pain.
The Park is very sentimental to us.
Our memories are in here.

😷

So far, nothing unfortunate has happened.
Until the global crisis happened.
Two years of being separated is quite depressing.
And she hadn't texted me for the past fortnight.
Then she finally replied.
A simple reply after my "Hi" could get me excited.
She said she wanted to meet me.

🌊 🕊️ 🌴 💖

And now I'm here, waiting for her.
There's a lake in front of me.
I watch the waves dance through the water.
The birds were tweeting.
The trees are swaying.
What a lovely Valentine's Day.

🤳

A sudden ring came to my phone.
I opened it and there she wrote:

"I'm here."

I looked at my back and there she was nonchalantly.
Still looking pretty.
This time, her hair was black.
I was actually shocked.
But she still looked pretty to me.
She came to me and handed me a box.

She wasn't wearing the scarf
because she placed it inside the box. Including some of the letters I wrote to her when I was deeply in love.
And a bunch of polaroids we took on every date we've had before.
I couldn't ask her why she returned these valuable things.

I was utterly shocked.

Then she told me,

"This is my goodbye... "

"What? "Please stay. "

"Stephen, I have to go. "

"Alice, what is this for? "

"I'm Sorry. "

Because I couldn't really move,
I just watched her walk away.
I saw her meet up with a tall guy.
Both of them exchanged looks with me.
Who was that guy?
Why is her hair, black?
Why is she returning me these things?
I have so many questions and the last phrase I heard coming out of her mouth was

"... I'm Sorry".