UNTIL I FOUND YOU , sturniolo triplets !

lying , matt/chris

❝ but when i walked up to the podium, i think that i forgot to say your name . . .
coney island, taylor swift (ft. the national)

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disclaimer
this isn't a poly one shot! there's just two different relationships going on in this, and i couldn't decide if i wanted matt or chris as the main focus.

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cw: none
! angst
me? coming back after a month with over 3.5k words of pure angst? never

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"you know, you really didn't have to come with me to this thing," you say, fidgeting with the rings on your fingers. "it's gonna be really long, and boring, and after hearing mr. anderson speak for, like, thirty seconds, you're gonna want to rip your ears off."

"i'll remind myself that i have that option," matt says, linking his fingers with yours, interrupting your anxious fiddling. "but i don't think i'll need it. it's your graduation, y/n. i wouldn't miss it."

"yeah, okay, well, you could just come to the reception. we're having it at my house. at 8:00. be there."

"oh, i will," matt replies, turning to face you. "and i will also be at the actual ceremony, because i am your boyfriend, and it is my duty to make an appearance at even the most boring of your endeavors."

you smile, but you wouldn't really call it a smile as much as you would a grimace. i am your boyfriend. yes, matt is your boyfriend. he's your boyfriend, and you love him, and you would never do anything explicitly to hurt him. which is why you don't want matt to go to your graduation, because you know-you just know-
that he is going to be there. even if it's just to piss you off, or to make you uncomfortable, he will.

matt will be pissed. he's a bit scary when he's pissed.

"now, i am going to go take my seat, and i promise that i won't be bored."

you sigh. "okay." you lean up and peck his lips before he turns and walks to find your family.

you watch him walk away, and a wave of guilt rushes over you. matt is such a good boyfriend. he wears suits when he doesn't want to for you. he sits through boring, three hour ceremonies for you, for the mere ten seconds that it will even be focused on you. he opens the door, and he pulls out your chair, and he drives you everywhere because you're afraid of driving on freeways. he makes you laugh when you're sad, and he comforts you when you're really sad, and he leaves you alone when you want to be alone. he's understanding, and kind, and funny, and absolutely the perfect guy.

he just... isn't the perfect guy for you.

god, why? you ask yourself, rubbing your temples. why am i not happy?

you feel terrible; terrible that matt isn't what you want. no, no, he is what you want. he's everything you've ever wanted. matt is stability, matt is comfort, matt is love, matt is always, always there.

he is absolutely the opposite.

he is stubborn. he slams the door shut in your face. he leaves trash everywhere outside of your house. he breaks into stores, and he fails all of his classes, and he is everything matt isn't. he is matt's identical triplet brother, and yet, he is nothing like him.

you do not want him. you want matt, and you love matt, and you always will.

but, sometimes, you can't help but ask yourself whether or not you might be reading your love with matt wrong. it doesn't mean you don't love him, because you know that you do-but in what way?