he loves me, he loves me not

part five

It was January. Things haven't quite been the same since the little mistletoe incident because Shawn hadn't stopped by the store as regularly as he used to. No more random drop bys, no more zinnias at her window, only 2-minute stops once a week. It was so awkward between them now. They had this weird tension neither of them really knew how to break. They haven't spoken a word about the almost kiss because neither one was brave enough to address the topic. Jezabel was a little sad about it but she thought it was for the best that they kept their space. She hates to admit it but she had started to develop real feelings for Shawn and now that he wasn't there as often, she was hoping she could work through her feeling and hopefully they'll go away.
Jezabel helped a total of one customer today, a lady who ordered a wreath of pink flowers for her wedding. She wanted to head into the back room to wait for a customer to pop in. So, she slouched down on the couch and rested her eyes and she was sleeping before she knew it.
When she awoke, there was a face inches away from hers with a concerned expression. She yelped in shock at what she woke up to and instinctively stood up bonking heads with the person in front of her.
"Sorry, I thought it would be funny," Shawn places his hands on her shoulders attempting to balance her out.
"Shawn!" Jezabel shouts in an attempt to be frustrated but the smile on her face says otherwise.
He waves his hands up in defense as if he was just pulled over by a cop. "I really should learn not to sneak up on you like that after last time when you punched me in the face."
"Was kind of hoping you'd forgotten about that," she giggles.
"Never," he leans in slightly to whisper, "but really what were you thinking just taking a nap while working? What if the shop got robbed?"
"Oh, what a loss! Not the poor flower shop!" She places both hands at the side of her cheeks mouth wide open.
"Haha, very funny," Shawn replies sarcastically, "I would rob this place,"
"Oh, I know," she smiles. She missed this. The banter. The laughs. It hasn't been like this in a while. It's like she was looking in a mirror of her old memories but there was a small crack in it that grows larger the longer they go without speaking. She gets so lost in her head that she completely forgets-
"HeLlOoOOo? JEZABELLLL!!! DO YOU COPY!!!" Shawn waves his hands in front of her face desperately trying to get her attention with no luck for the last minute.
"Huh? Yeah yeah totally," She rapidly blinks her eyes shifting back into the real world.
"So can you help?" He raises an eyebrow.
"With what exactly?"
"You really gonna make me say it again?" he says embarrassed.
"I like to see you struggle," she remarks acting as if she was paying attention the entire time rather than reminiscing on how easy it is to talk to her favorite person.
"Can you ... please help me pick out a flower for my date," he shyly kicks the floor he was paying attention to.
Oh.
If that mirror had a small crack in it before, now it looks as if someone had grabbed a sledgehammer and smashed it into a million pieces.
"Sure! Absolutely! I'd love to!" She lies. She can't let him know that this is killing her inside.
"You would?" He questions, "I mean, that's awesome!"
"So, tell me about her," Jezabel takes a walk around Shawn who was in her way of the door, and strides up to the front of the store.
"Well her name is Rachel. We're in track together and she actually asked me out which kind of took me by surprise since she's kind of the quiet type and we haven't really talked other than wishing each other good luc-" he traces behind her explaining.
"You're rambling again," Jezabel laughs. He's nervous, he must like her. Oh. He must like her.
"Hehe, sorry," he rubs the back of his neck as he feels the slight heat on it, "it's just I don't really know about that kind of thing, you know, the 'dating' thing,"
"Wait, you're telling me that you've never dated anyone before? You know girls are practically lining up to get with the infamous Shawn DeMarco right?"
"Yeah I know, but it just never felt right?"
"And this did? With this girl?" It doesn't hurt. It doesn't hurt.
"I guess?" He says not so sure of his own decision. "I don't really know but she's pretty and nice, might as well right?"
"I mean I guess, in the most shallow way possible that's enough," Jezabel walks up to her favorite section in the store, the exotic flowers. She thought they were the coolest and she's sure that Shawn would too. "So... where are you taking her?"
"A movie?" Shawn states hoping it's a good enough response.
"Oh absolutely not no no no..." Jezabel gives him a slight nudge on the shoulder perplexed by his idea of a date. Would she like his first date to have been with her, sure? But was she going to let him have a lackluster night be one of his most precious memories, absolutely not. She cared that he was happy and having a good time. She wanted the night to be special for him which is why she opened her mouth to say, "I'm planning you're date for you."
"What why? The movies isn't such a bad idea plenty of people go there for dates!"
"Exactly my point!" She shouts at him as if he's a toddler that just did something he shouldn't have. "If you're gonna do this you're gonna do this right,"
"Fine fine fine what do you have in mind?" He says exasperatedly rubbing the bridge of his nose.
"You're going to take her to Boardwalk Cafe, you're going to take her to the Record Farm and show her some music, and then you're going to take her bowling, and if there's enough time left in your night then you can take her to the movies. You copy?" This was her idea of a perfect date. She'd always wished this is how her first date ended up. Instead her sleazeball ex Emmett thought that spending a night at an all-night rager was the ideal first date.
"Yes ma'am," He mimics the movements of an army soldier in training placing his hand over his forehead in a salute manner.
"You're insufferable," She rolls her eyes at his idiocy.
"Yeah but you like that about me don't you," He smiles over her shoulder that he was standing behind.
There wasn't any real tension between the two until he spoke those words. All at once it's like their little bubble of friendship had popped and she is reminded that she really does have feelings for him. She froze in place and was begging to the heaven and earth that she wasn't as red as the petunias to the left of her. Flowers right the flowers.
"So, I was thinking these flowers would be perfect." She directs his attention to the display of flowers that they were standing in front of for the past 3 minutes. She picks up one single flower and hands it to him. He takes it with care and stares at it for a long moment. The red-orange flower seemed to magnetize him because he didn't hesitate to grab a couple more to see what a bouquet of them would look like.
"These are lei flowers aren't they?" He asks after a while.
"They're called plumerias but yeah essentially lei flowers, they're Hawaiian they mean beauty," A lot of flowers mean beauty but very few of them actually showed what beauty truly was. This one did.
"They're perfect I'll take em," he smiles, "I hope she'll like them."
"She will trust me," She drags out a fake annoyed tone as she plucks a couple more to make it into a bouquet. Maybe this was a good thing. Maybe she and Shawn weren't any good for each other and him going on this date is a sign from the universe to move on from her silly little crush. Still, as she was wrapping the flowers and putting on the ribbon and handing him the flowers and swiping his card, it all felt...wrong. It stung as he thanked her and even worse when he pulled her in for a tight hug as if everything between them was perfectly okay. She didn't try that hard in faking a smile as he walked out the door as her face had no effort in stretching itself into a smile.
As he walked away she let out a breath she had no idea she was holding. She slumped down dragging her back against the wall and pushing her knees close to her chest. She would stay like this for all of 10 minutes before another customer walked in and she smiled and talked and told him to have a great day but she really just wished she could eat the ice cream that she ate on the night that changed everything or hideaway in the treehouse she had long forgotten of until a couple of months ago. But no, she had to work.