Doctor Who and the Wizzard who wasn't.

Introduction - 1

Imagine, if you will that you are flying through space.*

All around you is black, with the pinpricks of distant stars and clouds of nebulae breaking up the boredom.* In fact space is sooo boring that it makes History with Mr DePriest seem as exciting as an action movie with Ryan Reynolds in it!

From behind you, as you are travelling at impossibly fast speeds, you hear the oddest sound, a kind of grinding, pulsing, breathing sound accompanied by a feeling that you're being caught up with. As you begin to look behind you, a tall thin box; painted dark blue and bearing four eight panelled sides, a flashing blue light atop and white light glowing from the top two panels on each side, passes you.*

Intrigued as to why a 1960's Police Box from Earth is flying through space, you follow it.*

It doesn't seem to have any particular destination. It darts around all over the place, sometimes stopping and spinning in space, before shooting off in another direction. Just as you're getting bored with following, something appears in the distance...

As you and the police box get closer to it, the speck becomes something else that you wouldn't expect to be flying through space. It's a turtle.*

The police box stops moving forward. It sits in space, spinning on its axis.

You move closer to the box and all of a sudden, you can hear what the inhabitants are saying as clearly as if you were in there with them:

"What. On. Earth?"

"We're in space, not on Earth, Doctor. We should be on Earth, it is where you're supposed to be, where you promised you'd be, but noo..."

"Shut up, Nardole. You know what I mean."

"Alright then, Doctor, what is that then?"

"That's a Star Turtle, Nardole."

"I know that, Doctor. I mean what's that on its back?"

*And before you start muttering about being able to breathe, or talking about FTL / Warp engines etc; this is merely a thought experiment... just go with the flow, dude....

*And yes, Space is boring. There's so much nothing between the something that being asleep for the journey seems like a great idea.

*You're not bored anymore, are you?

*Fans of a particular BBC TV SFF series will be shouting at me about now....

*And yup, here come the Kevins. Right on time...