I actually have like one or two drafts left for this story before I had the chance to make any others.
Should I continue this? I explain more at the end of the chapter.
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I couldn't stop the tears, it was like they came naturally; rolling down my tanned cheeks. I tried, trust me, I tried.
Furiously and roughly wiping my eyes every two seconds, as I ran through the dim-lighted streets of London.
My breathing was heavy, and my legs were burning as I quickened my speed. Where was I even running too? I had no place to go. I had no money, all I could do was run.
I couldn't go home. How could I go home? Do I even really have a home? Can I call that wretched place 'home'?
Stopping short, I collapsed. A scream of frustration erupted from my mouth; as I pulled at my hair feverishly.
God, what was I gonna do? I had nobody, I was nobody; and I think that's what stung most. I had no family, I mean I did, but not anymore... Or did I really ever have a family?
I could hear cars racing by, not bothering to stop; or even take a look around. The harsh car lights zooming by, blinding me each time. The cold nights of London, the rain spilling onto my shoulders like when you take a shower, and the water turns cold after minutes. Normally I loved the rain, it calmed me down; made me feel like I was worth something.
But not today, those eyes... Those beauteous eyes, they were stuck in the back of my mind; and no matter how badly I tried to push them away; the beautiful image of his eyes stayed.
Who was he? How come I've never seen him around before? Why had he helped me? He doesn't even know me.
But, god those eyes...
Taking a turn into an alley, I stare at my cold rough hands, fiddling with my fingers; I had no clue what to do. Why I had I left? What an idiot I am.
Sitting down on the dirty, cold concrete floor, I rest my head against the small coffee shop's walls; tears brimming in my eyes.
This is my life. I hated it.
And that's when the memories came back. The rope around my neck, my eyes closed. I was so close, I was so close to not having to be in this awful world anymore. If only, if only he would've came two minutes later.
I could've slid off, I couldn't ended it right there. Then, I would've been free. I would've been happy.
Suddenly anger erupted into me, as the tears rushed down my cheeks; so hot they burned; causing me to begin to shake.
I wouldn't have been in this position, in the freezing cold if it wasn't for him. I could've been happy. I couldn't been happy, but I'm not. I'm stuck, in this infuriating life. I'm stuck in pain, living with the burden of being such a disappointment.
Nobody understands, nobody will ever understand. There's no getting better for me. There never will be, why should there be?
"Z..Zayn?" The low familiar British accent rang into my ears, and I froze in my spot. No, please... "Hey... Look, ki- I'm sorry. I know... I just, wanted to make sure that you were okay."
I didn't answer, starring at the wall; my brown eyes emotionless; a trick I picked up. Emotionless. It was the best thing to be. That's how I'm surviving high school, ain't it?
"Please... You're shivering, you're cold... And sitting in a dark alley, all alone. Just let me help." He begged, as he began to walk towards me; those beautiful eyes stuck on me; as I slid backwards, shaking my head.
"No." I spat, my voice low and dark, "I'm not a charity case. I don't need your help."
His face fell, as he stumbled backwards; shocked by my tone. "I never said you were."
"You implied it." I snapped almost immediately; and he shook his head, anger showing on his features.
He glared at his hands, taking short deep breathes; as he tried to calm himself down. "Please, just get in the car, I promise, I'm not gonna hurt you. I just want to help!"
I raised an eyebrow, "You want to help? Then leave."
"I'm not going anywhere." He hissed, his brown eyes full of anger, "Do you not know who I am?"
I shrug, lying if I say I wasn't scared, "I don't care who you are. I just want you to leave me alone!" My posture was stiff, tensing as I avoided eye sight.
He went to retort, but he stopped; and turned around; crouching as he struggled to keep himself under control. "I just want to take you to my place. It'll keep you warm. You're gonna get sick!"
"Why do you even care?!" I screamed, my eyes bloodshot; as I watched his expression change. He didn't answer at first, his brown eyes looking at the ground. And it told me one thing;
He didn't even know.
"Just leave. Trust me, it's better that way. I'm hazardous." I mumbled, my forehead dripping sweat; as I desperately tried to stop the fear from showing on my face.
And suddenly, it was like his face changed; and it caused me to quiver. But it was his eyes, they were soft, and they made me feel ... Oh what does it matter?
"You know what, mate? Get the fuck in the car. I'm tired of playing nice to a spoiled ass brat. I'm trying to help, for fucks sake; and all your doing is being a stubborn asshole. I'm done. Get up."
I don't move, my eyes stuck on his shoes; my hands on both sides of me; putting pressure on my hands, the small rocks pressing into my palms; but I didn't care.
He had an evil look on his face, different from the one I saw in his flat, much different.
He frightened me.
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Okay legit question to anyone reading this. Want me to genuinely finish this or make a new book all together?
I genuinely can't stand first person POV, oof. I'm just posting the drafts I had.
YOU ARE READING
Long way home. (Ziam) (BoyXBoy)
FanfictionWhere an abused teen which everyone thinks is mute, accidentally befriends the UK's most Notorious gang... And falls in love with the leader. -LARRY INCLUDED-