{{{{{ Note: I found ALL stories that I'm posting in this book or whatever you wanna call it online in different websites I DID NOT WRITE THEM! (Just in case someone decides to accuse me of plagiarism or something) :/ thanks and enjoy as much as I enjoyed them!!! Oh and I WILL keep updating with new funny stories so that you'll continue to get get the best laughs out there! ;)
((geesh I think I should come out in some sort of commercial announcing some product due to how i chose to persuade you to read this book))
~Coolspring~
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#1.
Dear mum,
I am writing you this note to say that I haven't been honest to you lately.
I have a boyfriend, his name is Jake and he lives in a trailer in the woods he wears biker clothes and deals Ecstasy.
I am moving in with him and I am four months pregnant.
His friends will come over all the time so I can get a little frisky with them.
We will make a living out of growing drugs and selling them to Jake's friends as are both already drug addicts, we will live a life of drugs beer and all the sex.
Wish us luck,
Katie
P.S.
I am at the neighbors house, all of the above was a lie I just wanted to let you know there are worse things in life than my report card which is in the top drawer.
Xx
#2.
Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.
The Officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away to his car, and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle
please!
The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
