mai gehra tamas (tu sunehra savera)

Nakul woke with a start; he had dozed off rather uncomfortably on the bundle of weapons they kept tied with ropes. Next to him, Yudhishthir was in deep meditation while Sahadeva was engrossed in his star charts.

"Where's Panchali?" he asked, rubbing his eyes.

"She went off to bathe." Sahadeva murmured, not taking his eyes off the charts. "Bheem and Arjun have gone hunting."

Nakul ran his hands through his hair. "If they come back," he said, getting up. "Tell them I'm with Panchali."

Sahadeva shot him a sharp look before resuming his studies. "You do know it's supposed to be Yudhidhthir's year, right?" he remarked dryly.

Earlier, Nakul would have jested or laughed; but now a bitter taste spread on his tongue. Pushing down the jibe, he left the hut.

The forest was calm and quiet; apart for the humming of birds and insects, no other sounds could be heard. Usually there would be an uproar whenever his brothers went hunting; the animals scattering here and there while Bheem charged after them. They must have gone to the denser part of the forest today.

"Panchali!" he called out. 

She was striding towards him from the valley that dipped into the lake where they bathed. Her wet hair glistened under the sun. Nakul caught his breath. He remembered the first time he had seen her. The bards sang about her famed pride, and it was reflected in her face - but there was something else in her eyes, too, something warm and kind. Never in his wildest dreams had he imagined that one day he would be able to address her with such intimacy. But Arjun would always be her favourite, he thought with a pang. While it was obvious that Arjun loved Subhadra the most.

"Stop shouting." Panchali sounded mildly annoyed. "I can hear you from the lake."

Silently, he slipped his hand into hers. If she disapproved, she didn't say anything. Panchali of Indraprastha had followed their marital rules steadfastly; that no brother should touch her when it was not their year. Those rules that were made to keep the six of them united, had started to disappear since their exile had started. Only Yudhishtir sometimes looked disapproving, when Nakul or Bheema helped her or comforted her, when it was not their year. 

Nakul brushed off a stray piece of grass that was stuck to her cheek. "Did you fall asleep while bathing?" he laughed.

To his surprise, Panchali grabbed his hand and kissed it. 

"What was that for?" He stopped and looked into her eyes. He had never known her to be so openly affectionate before.

She shook her head, a bashful smile appearing on her face. Tugging his hand, she led them along the much trodden path. "You know, " she said slowly. "I've been thinking about how the palace."

Nakul stiffened. Everyone knew how fiercely she had loved their palace. He should have comforted her, reassured her that they would build another as beautiful (though he knew they were empty promises) but stupidly he said - "Do you miss it very much, Panchali?"

Her grip on his hand grew firmer. "No," she said clearly. "The first few days - I felt terrible. I wanted to be home so desperately. But now -"

She turned to look at him, a curious, muted light glowing in her eyes.

"I like this - I like what we have now. It's peaceful. I almost don't want to go back." she said wistfully.

He said nothing, but she knew that he understood what she said. The forest blanketed them in its tranquility; it was easy to forget about the grimy reality of a war looming before them. 

"It was like this before, wasn't it?" Panchali smiled at him. "When you lived in the forest as kids."

"It wasn't for long." Nakul smiled too. "Our grandfather came within a few days to escort us to Hastinapur. Still, it was fun. Did I ever tell you that Bheem used to bully us into giving up our favourite sweets?"

She laughed; the sound was like the falling drops of a summer shower to him. "Anyone could have guessed."

"Ma must have forgotten about the many times she slapped him for that alone." He continued, an amused expression on his face. "Even though we weren't her biological children, she spoiled us the most."

"Did Arjun never come to your rescue?" she asked curiously.

"He did when he felt like it." He said airily. "Sometimes he took up the role of a protective big brother, and ordered Bheem, very solemnly, to return our sweets. Sometimes he was the one who told Bheem that he was missing out on the most delicious treats."

"And Yudhishtir?"

"If Yudhishtir had his way, none of us would have had sweets at all and all of us would live off leaves and grass, forever absorbed in worship and rituals."

They laughed. Nakul felt freer, happier and more content than he had in weeks. Idly he wondered what his eldest brother's reaction would be, when he saw them together. Oh, well, Yudhishtir could keep his reproves to himself. He would certainly not follow those flimsy rules, if that meant he could lighten Panchali's heart and keep her happy.

"Panchali." he murmured softly.

"What?" she whispered. Her eyes twinkled with mirth, but they seemed gentler, kinder.

"I'll get you everything you've lost." Nakul's voice was husky. "After these years are over, I'll seat you in your rightful position as queen again, I promise."

She raised her neck, and putting her arms on his shoulders, kissed him. He pulled her closer; breathing in her lotus-like scent, and buried his hands in her hair. They pulled apart, their foreheads touching.

"I know." Her eyes glowed with affection. "I love you."

He could hear the faint singing of the mockingbirds in the distance, and the cry of the forest animals returning home for the night. There was a long, arduous future lying ahead of them; but right now he let the tranquility of the forest wash away all his doubts and inhibitions, as he held Panchali close, feeling her heart beat in unison with his own.