Paing Thuta
I know nothing of who superintends my abstract life? But when I entered this world my mother was only over eighteen years old, very young, very naive and ingenuous. They always say that I was nursed not by my own mother due to young pregnancy but from old~low cow milks. Yet after all I was born by equaling interest and base, my father and mom of course, she always neglected me somehow, my Kyi May(Great Aunty) always says <feel badly for me actually> that my mum thought I am the blocker for her window to the open world, I am her nemesis for her life. But I don’t know~seriously I don’t even care about that maybe she was or maybe not, since I know myself clearly enough for this harsh open world, I have my lovely sister like blue sky rain drops- Moe Wathan Oo.
Sister of mine, she is so sweet and gentle very alike to my mum. I don’t believe my mum doesn't love me, I don’t believe it at all,I really do not believe that she did not breastfeed me well, yes~ I don’t look like any of the kids on the television advertisement the skinny little boys and girls, not even close alike to them. Eight years old me is even taller than anyone in our neighbourhood. I almost reached the upper waist of my dad. I can play more than anyone~ I mean anyone, jumping, running everything I can do better than them and don’t even taunt me when I play, no argue with me, what if they do I just beat them on the head, just like that, I don’t want to waste my play-time with some bull-shit arguementing.
The one who argues crying out loud and head to home and I can just go on playing whatever I want to freely-just like that. Hate to waste my time but there’s always consequence for what I did actually, the ones who I beated always called their parents or someone with them and came to our home scold me like bastard,rascal or judge my parent’s parenting or raising or disciplining but I don’t take it, feel nothing whatever they judging me in fact they were telling the truth.
I don’t have mum anymore and may be mum already incarnated as a child somewhere somehow. And my dad is never at home with us mostly, he is always at the brokers’ sales centre or business trip or something. They never got a chance to discipline us or tell us what to do and not to do. But strangely Kyi May was hurt by their criticism and she’s arguing with them all the time. Whenever that kind of thing happened my little sister got so scared by their quarrel and all the time I had to get on between them to stop. Yeah actually my dear little sister can’t cry or be sad much by any of it, because since she was born dear sister had they call a hole on the heart but as far as I know she can’t be scared or sad or most importantly she can’t cry much by any of it. And she was so little yet she had to wear a big glass on her eyes now almost 150 degrees they say. So I had to take care of her more than anyone. She is not like Kyi May or anyone. She is so soft and tender and easily gets ill, she can’t even play under the sun or run a lot like me. So …
For me to play with her was a different thing, I don’t know how to play with her and her doll actually, I mean I don’t know how to do it with her playing, she isn't playing just changing out fit and clothes for her doll mostly all the time. Whenever she changes her Barbie doll in front me naked! I can’t take it dare not to see the doll. And she only had that kind of doll to play I must say. Only once I played toy pot with her but I broke her clay pan and she cried like hell so loud by it and I don’t know how much my Kyi May wanted to do it, but she did suddenly knock my head hardly more noisy than the pan broken sound. After that I don’t play with her anymore and she plays on her own with her skinny Barbies gently and steadily.
My sister got easily tired, whenever she went downstairs or up she got exhausted by it, so BaBa Nyein (Unrelated Uncle) who lives with us had to take her to school and to the classroom by piggybacking with him. But I can carry her now so I do it myself, we are just a year apart but she is so little and light I don’t have any burden by it too. And I decided myself I want to be a Doctor when I grow, yes I am the one who had to take care of her when she grows too. I am the only one who she had, and Kyi May always says that she would leave us and go to Sagaing Abbey (Where the Elders go to settle in order to religious Practises till they are gone).
Grimly I had to say that I am not a naughty and so is my sister, we aren’t misbehaved. In fact I am kind of a clever and good mannered boy, I do my homework and study, I even got first in my class. Even the headmistress of our school recognized me as Paing Thu Ta, the one who is clever and bright. Whenever she sees me she even says hello to me first, so what if I do naughty she can’t tell us to leave us behind right? And whenever Kyi May had to attend the Parent’s Meeting or student’s Ball or school ceremony, she changed, she always says to everyone proudly … Oh this is my darling dear boy … and whenever at home she behaves differently scolds us all the time and complaining …. Even call us with “Nga” the addressing of servant usage like when the imperial times … Nga Paing just like that… once, my dad heard that addressing me and he went furied by it, but whenever he’s not around or back of him she did address me all the time. I don’t like it but I don’t want to bother my dad just because of that, and I don’t want to be frail like girls.
All because of Kyi May, me and my sister can have like this life actually, we owe her a lot for it, and my dear sister needs her as well. I hate her for what she calls me but I can’t misbehave to her. We need her, the most important is as long as taking care of her sister that’s enough for me though. Whatever I need to be grown fast, I must. I really want to take care of my sister more than now.
