Richie and Eddie slowly coming to the realization that they aren't like everyone else, and having to accept their feelings for eachother in a world where they are unwelcome. Day after day their feelings grow stronger, and soon a simple game changes...
Me and the rest of the loser's club went to the park to hang out because Bill said a hotdog stand is usually there, and we were all starving. I stared down at my feet, sitting in awkward silence on the bench next to Richie as the rest of the losers got us food "Are we just going to sit here in silence or are you going to start talking" I said, now looking up at Richie. Did I seriously just say that? For once Richie isn't talking and then I'm asking him to start talking. Am I sick in the head?
"Sorry Ed's I was busy thinking..about your mom" Richie laughed at his own joke. Even though it wasn't really as funny as the types of jokes he usually makes.
"Oh fuck off" I looked back down at my feet and noticed some dirt of my shoes. I immediately looked up trying to get my mind off of it because I knew it was going to bother me more if I kept looking at it. I looked over at Richie, and then started to space out. Not even realizing I was looking at him.
"Woah there, I didn't know Mrs. K was the only Kaspbrak into Tozier's" he laughed and looked at me.
I snapped back to reality after hearing his voice. "What? OH. RICHIE THATS DISGUSTING STOP. MY MOM ISNT INTO YOU." I shouted back at Richie. What an idiot .
Richie nudged me with his elbow, still laughing. The other losers were walking towards us with food and I could smell it from where I was sitting.
Ben handed me a hotdog and I gagged. "What the hell is this? I'm not eating that" I shoved the hotdog towards Richie and tried to keep calm. "It reeks of chemicals and I don't even think it's safe to put into your body! I mean why would anyone willingly eat that it's absolutely disgusting!-"
Everyone was ignoring me and eating the food. I already gave Richie my hotdog, and there is no way I would ever ask for it back to eat it. I instead stared at the ground and pretended I wasn't hungry, trying to cover up the sounds of my stomach rumbling. I'm fucking starving. I don't think there is any other food around here. I looked up at the group. They were all laughing and it was almost like they forgot I was there. I opened my mouth to speak but was afraid I might ruin the moment so I waited for all of them to stop laughing and talking so I could slip into the conversation.
"I'm gonna head home. It's getting.. hot out! And I don't want to overheat." I looked at the club, but most especially Richie. I don't know why but I was kind of hoping one of them would ask me to stay just a bit longer. I just wanted to feel more included. But none of the losers spoke up other than to say bye. It felt. Weird. Like in a hurting kind of way?
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As I sat on my bed all I could think was stuff like what if I never said I wanted to go home? or why didn't they ask me to stay? I fell onto my back and sat in my thoughts. I wonder what they are doing right now. I bet they are having fun. Do they even notice I'm gone? It feels weird knowing I'm here and my friends are out there. I shook my head and tried to forget about it. My mom wasn't home from work yet and she doesn't even know I left the house to hang out with my friends. It feels weird and risky sneaking out, but it's kind of a thrill I enjoy. Almost like I can tell my mom I don't need her in a way.
I got up off my bed and ran to the kitchen. I was still starving and I needed something to eat. I searched the kitchen and spotted some carrots. it was the only thing that didn't need to be prepared or cooked. Is this really it? Moms gonna need to get some groceries. I snatched the carrots and went up to my room. Usually I don't eat up there but my mom wasn't home so it wouldn't matter.
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My mom was home from work and it was already dark. I know I can't go out right now. I'd probably need to be bribed or kidnapped just to step foot out of my house after my mom gets home, and especially once it starts getting darker outside.
I I laid down on my bed and tried to sleep and forget about everything. What's wrong with me? Why can't I just forget about this stuff? It's not even serious.
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HI GUYYYYS THIS IS MY FIRST EVER FF AND IM SORRY ITS BAD ENGLISH ISNT MY FIRST LANGUAGE SO I APOLOGIZE!!! AND I HOPE PEOPLE LIKE THIS SO FARR!! (IM WORKING ON OTHER CHAPTERS RN)
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