A large expanse of nothing, nothing to be seen as a dark gray cloud stretches as far as the eye can see. Has it been this way forever? Or, is it new?
Suddenly a small ball of light emerges, the moon. Was it night all this time? That, I am not quite sure of. How long has it been this cloudy?
Why do I feel like I'm being pinched? Nevermind that, I can remember something vaguely now from before this foggy night. Sunshine. Oh, how long it has been since I've felt its warm embrace. Was it yesterday, or maybe was it five years ago? Somewhere in between? Ah, I remember, I've experienced it off and on for these past few years.
But, why? Was I not raised by good parents? Didn't I have food on the table, shoes on my feet, a roof up above my head?
Am I truly awakening, or has that happened? Am I reawakening? Is it just a blip, a dream, something to make me feel guilty in my darkness? Who's to say? Certainly not me.
Trying to be selfless, caring for others, loving to others; just to be called selfish, arrogant, stubborn, smug, hateful, and what else. Who cares? I can take it, all by myself to make them happy. Are they just voices, or are they people? Does it really matter?
He has everything he needs, he's good, he's smart, he shows a tough front. I wonder why? Possibly because he wasn't allowed to show emotion. Maybe swallowing all my emotions wasn't the best thing to do. Maybe ignoring what you feel will make it go away.
There comes the sun, in all of its glory. Do I embrace it, let it burn me, or ignore it?
This pain I've been bringing upon myself, can be loosed from me. Thus chain, that I, myself, have locked, can be unlocked. This cross I carry, He can help carry.
I'll let the sun burn me, I've decided. For I've tasted and seen, but nothing comes close to the power and glory of the Lord.
I'll let Him reconform my heart to something beautiful, majestic, one likened to His. Faith without works is dead, so I have to take this leap of faith knowing that the God of everything will catch me, hold me, and love me perfectly.
