Growing up (MWL's sequel)✔️

28. I hate him. I do. I hate him so much.

 "I may have failed but I have loved you from the start."

- Fall for you, Secondhand serenade.

 

Chapter Twenty-Eight.

I'm not ready.

That was the only thought roaming inside of my head at that moment.

I'm not ready to face him, to talk to him, to deal with this longing sensation mixed with the pain strangling my chest.

But there he was, right in front of me, pulling me in with those haunting dark eyes. That intense gaze that could make any girl weak in the knees. Evan's attractiveness didn't only emerge from his handsome physical appearance, it also came from his attitude and personality: that cold, dazzling and mysterious aura around him was enough to lure a girl in. It was enough to lure me in from the beginning.

I had forgotten what his presence caused in me. My traitor's hormones were only dying to jump at him and kiss him passionately.  I realized hormones didn't care about disappointment or lies, they just cared about the hot male specimen in front of them and how bad they wanted him close.

He had his hand inside his jeans front pockets in a casual manner. His face showed no emotion whatsoever. Was he angry? Sad? Was he having a hard time like me? I'd completely forgotten his ability to hide his feelings so well. His impassive expression told me nothing.

I opened my mouth to say something but then closed it. What was I supposed to say? What was he doing here? Should I ask? Wouldn't I sound like I'm displeased with his presence if I ask that?

I decided to wait for him to say something since he was the one to call out my name first.

Evan took a step forwards and my hormones shouted at him to come even closer.

"How are you?" he asked and moistened his lips. Subconsciously, my eyes followed the action.

I shook my head, "Good and you?" nervously, I licked my lips. His gaze landed on my mouth and a glint of longing appeared in his eyes.

Does he want to kiss me as bad as I want to kiss him?

"Not good," he sounded honest. My loving side came to the surface and I struggled not to pull him into a hug and comfort him, "Jules, I..." he trailed off, looking right into my eyes, "I miss you."

Those three words warmed my heart and I knew that was not good. Facing him would weaken my resolve because I still loved the guy. My body still yearned for him and it would be a matter of time before I succumbed to him and ended up kissing his pain away. And I couldn't do that, not when I still had wounds within me that hadn't healed. I needed time. It'd been barely two days.

Jane's face invaded my mind and that was enough to regain my courage.

"I should probably go." I forced the words out of my mouth. His impassive expression morphed into one of pure sadness, "It was nice seeing you." I said as polite as possible.

I turned on my feet and started walking away.

"Jules," He whispered behind me, "I'm not giving up on us." His voice held such determination, it made a shiver run through my spine.

I looked at him over my shoulder and gave him a genuine smile, "I know and I'm not expecting you to." And with that, I walked away from him.    

Helen

"Arg! Fùck!" I punched my pillows over and over again. I couldn't believe I had done it again, "What's wrong with me?" I wondered aloud. I had no self-control whatsoever. I buried my face into my pillow and groaned. I hate him. I do. I hate him so much.