Something didn't feel right.
As Minho let Hyunjin's fingers trail across his back, kissing him tenderly, both sprawled on the older's bed, something didn't feel right at all.
The memory of Hyunjin's every touch left Minho's brain fuzzy and questioning. But this time, it wasn't in a good way, like it was supposed to be. It didn't feel okay at all, like it was supposed to be.
It was as if Minho's body was a car but he wasn't the driver. He was sitting somewhere at the back, watching as the vehicle took turns mindlessly by itself.
Minho didn't feel real. He didn't feel present in the moment. And before he knew, a pair of eyes was staring at him.
"You okay?"
"Yeah" he replied absently. He didn't wanna bother the redhead with his problems again so he decided to ignore the nasty feeling, thinking that it would probably go away soon.
But when Hyunjin pushed him onto the bed, positioning himself over him, Minho's expression wasn't fiery and full of lust as usual. It was empty and hollow and sad. And Hyunjin hesitated, cupping his lover's cheek with his hand and starting to kiss him as gently as he could.
Nothing felt real. The kisses, the touch, Hyunjin. It all felt like a movie Minho was forced to watch unfolding in front of him. But the only thing that made him come to his senses was the fuel inside his stomach.
This isn't right. This has to stop right now.
He pushed Hyunjin away and sat up on one side of the bed, facing the white wall in front of him.
Hyunjin was startled. He took a moment to register everything before asking questions.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing."
Everything.
"Something's wrong. I know it. Tell me" Hyunjin insisted. He didn't know why Minho acted like that and he was afraid he'd hurt him somehow.
"I guess my mind is elsewhere today."
Hyunjin sighed. Minho had been like that for a while and he didn't know why.
He wanted the old Minho back. The one that loved him and was excited to write songs with him and go on random dates. Now, his lover just seemed like a shipwreck of what he had been.
Hyunjin blamed himself. He might have done something wrong. Something that made Minho's love for him dim down. And he kept asking himself what was it. He'd been rummaging through his brain for days, almost going crazy.
"Just admit that you don't wanna have sex with me anymore" he finally told Minho, exhausted.
"Hyunjin come on... I don't wanna do this now."
"Fine" the younger said, already gathering his stuff to leave.
"Wait!" a hand stopped him.
Hyunjin hesitated but scoffed and sat down next to him. The next few minutes were silence as none of them knew what they were supposed to say. And Minho had already lost track of the narrative a few times.
"I'm sorry" he was tired. "I don't know Hyunjin. I really don't know. I'm sorry."
Minho was out of it, the younger registered. He wanted to soothe him, to care for him. But his heart was broken too. He had feelings too.
"At least tell me if I did something wrong."
"You didn't. I did."
Hyunjin cocked his head to try to look beyond those hollow eyes of his.
"You did what?"
It was too much. Too much for him to handle. And Hyunjin was too precious for him to stay.
"I lied, Hyunjin."
