evesuki fanfic

1

She's like a magnet and my eyes are metal, my gaze always enticed back to hers. I try my hardest to focus on Ranveer, sat opposite me, talking about God knows what. The Panesar empire consumes my life nowadays, and I let it. I ponder on how it could be Eve sitting across me at this moment, we could be giggling about something stupid, maybe gazing into each other's eyes as longingly and intense as we are now.

''...Your one woman I'd like to do business with,'' Ranveer says. He sounds miles away in my mind, and I nod absentmindedly, eyes flickering from my lover placed across Walford East. The lover I try to let go of, as she brings out the side of me I want to stay hidden. Buried deep so I can pretend it ceased to exist. The lover that's sat with my daughter. It appears that, inevitably, my karma has caught up with me for sleeping with Peter that one night, just to get back at Ash. On a normal day, Ranveer's comment would've validated me, made me proud even. But I feel too occupied and I want to go home.

I almost let out a gasp when Ash tries to kiss her, every bone in my body wants to pull them apart, scream and shout. But I don't need to because Eve withdraws, pulling away and completely disengaged. Her head twists to glance at me while I try to study the look in her eyes, and all I see is remorse. I wish Ranveer would shut up so I could eavesdrop.

''...I've fallen for someone and it's complicated,''

''...had to walk away from her,''

''...not completely let her go yet.''

As she gets up to leave, our eyes are locked with one another until I'm staring at the back of her head, feeling hopeless and irritated.

Fallen?

I feel guilt wash over me now, and I want to chase after her, apologise, and look at her one more time. Instead, I wrap up my conversation with Ranveer, raising my glass to his.

''To business,'' we say.

''And all the pleasures it brings,'' he continues. I don't know what you would call me and Eve right now but it's probably closer to heartwrenching than pleasurable.

It feels like it's tearing me apart, actually.

---

The sun falls low in the sky as Suki reaches her apartment, fumbling with her keys to open the door. July's humid air has seeped its way into the apartment, leading her to turn on the fan, sink into her sofa and sigh. Although alone, Eve's presence is ubiquitous: Suki's record player, Eve's jacket left desolate on the armchair, the beer in the fridge. All these things remind Suki of Eve, driving her mad and nagging at her until after 2 hours she gives into her temptations and sends Eve a text. She's annoyed at herself for giving in as she types a message, deletes it, then retypes it multiple times.

Come round, I want to talk

That'll do, she thinks. Face illuminated by the light of her phone, she watches as Eve starts typing after only a couple of minutes.

Okay

15 minutes pass and Suki's thoughts are interrupted by a knock at the door, along with this, she feels nerves stir in the pit of her stomach. Everything she had planned to say vanishes and she stares at Eve with a blank mind. Eve stares back, face plastered with a small smile. Suki lets her in, shutting the door behind her.

''I'm sorry you had to see that, you know, Ash...'' Eve trails off, leaning against Suki's kitchen counter in a black bomber jacket.

''I'm sure it boosted your ego,'' Suki responds, arms crossed, grinning slightly. Her facade of being nonchalant seems to be successful. However, her daughter's attempt to try it on with Eve left a bitter taste in Suki's mouth, even though Eve didn't reciprocate it. She was furious with Ash but felt hopeless, unable to say anything that would give her away. Admittedly, Suki wishes she could be as open and unashamed as Ash could be.

Suki walks closer, near the wall they kissed against. She remembers it, the taste of Eve on her tongue, hand wrapped around her neck. She mulls it over while pouring two glasses of red wine, letting her hand touch Eve's as she passes the glass.

''I'm scared, Eve. I'm scared of letting people in. I'm scared of falling in love, let alone with a woman,'' Suki sighs and takes a sip of wine. ''And, if people found out... I'd put shame on my family. Everything would change.'' She pauses, ''I stay awake thinking about everything. You and me. I wonder if things would be different if we'd met years ago.''

''You can't live in fear, Suki. It will break you, trust me,'' Eve replies, looking down as she swishes the wine in her glass. She feels Suki's hand on her waist, delicate, intimate. Touches like these alone seem to take her breath away, she exhales softly, eyes drifting upwards into Suki's stare.

''I know,'' Suki places her glass down on the counter.

''We can take it as slow as you want, we've got something, Suki. Something I haven't felt in a long time, and I know you feel the same.''

The distance between them was closing, noses almost touching. The stress of Suki's family finding out about them dissipated when she feels Eve's lips pressed against hers. She was right - Suki did feel the same. In fact, nothing has ever been as good as this, she was stupid to think she could forget and move on from Eve. Move on from this. Everything seems to fall into place: Why kissing men felt like a chore, why the sex was more about validation and power than anything pleasurable, and why she often felt lonely and bored with male partners. Boredom she could never feel with Eve, their seraphic kiss tasting of sweet wine lighting an incandescent fire, forever refusing to die out.

Suki whispers, barely audibly, ''Stay.''