Satan's Captive

9

Kaitlyn was quiet for most of the next day, the image of the writhing witch burned into her retinas. No matter if she opened or closed her eyes, she could still see her flopping around like something straight out of a horror movie.

Kaitlyn had told Jacob everything that had happened but it hadn't made the pain go away. The uncertainty. The guilt.

Would you feel different ...?

Jacob did his best to comfort her, but for some reason his strong, warm arms weren't working. All they did was make things worse.

'Zeke,' Kaitlyn said. 'I want to speak with Zeke.'

Jacob looked a little hurt but nodded.

The angel joined her in the kitchen. He sat down at the table, amber eyes gentle and open. Kaitlyn didn't like that. It only twisted up her insides more. Why couldn't he be judgemental and angry like a normal person? Why did he have to be so sweet, so caring, so ... all that she wasn't?

She wanted to tell him everything. She so desperately wanted to unload all the terrible, hateful, dreadful things she was feeling. How could she tell him that day by day she felt like she was losing herself?

The tears rose in her eyes but she swallowed them back down.

'Kaitlyn? What is distressing you?' he said softly.

The midday sunlight pouring in through the window gleamed against his skin, brightening his usual angelic glow. His sharp black eyebrows sat low over his eyes. There were creases around his mouth as he waited.

'Kaitlyn, I'm worried about you.'

Kaitlyn clutched at her necklace. 'I'm worried about me too,' she finally said. 'I ...' She swallowed. 'I ...' She wiped at her face. 'Could you ... could you just hold me?'

The angel stood without question. He went to Kaitlyn, and then she was in his arms, her cheek pressed against this chest. She just needed to touch him. To touch something unquestionably good.

'I wish I was an angel,' Kaitlyn said. 'I wish I was so certain about things. I wish my heart wasn't split into a million pieces.'

She wiped her eyes against his chest.

He touched her cheek. 'You are not evil, Kaitlyn, to feel the things that you do.'

Kaitlyn frowned. 'But how would you know? How would you know anything of what I feel ... angel?' She stepped away. 'You should have let me die.'

He gazed at her sadly. Shaking her head, Kaitlyn left the kitchen.

The day was dull and despite Jacob's and the angels' presence, she'd never felt so alone, not when she'd been at her lowest, when she'd been between jobs and struggling to survive. Not when Michael had broken up with her. Not even when her parents had died.

She stopped herself. No. That wasn't true. Nothing could make her feel lonelier than that. Standing in front of the window, she looked down at her necklace, fondling the cross between her fingers as it shimmered in the sunlight. Kaitlyn looked up as a hand gripped her shoulder.

Kaitlyn gave Jacob a weak smile. 'Sorry.'

'Sorry for what?'

'For being so glum.'

'You're allowed to be glum, Kaitlyn. I just wish you'd tell me what's making you so sad.'

Kaitlyn opened her mouth, then shut it. 'It's my cross to bear.'

Jacob looked down at her necklace as she continued to fondle it. He frowned. 'Don't let him get to you.'

Kaitlyn tightened her mouth. 'It's not about him.'