5-I'm The Greatest Star
As sung by Kurt Hummel (Originally by Barbra Streisand)
Season 3 Episode 2: I Am Unicorn
Fun Fact: Chris Colfer actually knows how to use Sai Swords, and it was his idea to put it in the show
Lyrics:
I got 36 expressions!
Sweet as pie to tough as leather
And that's six expressions more than all them Barrymores put together.
Instead of just kicking me why don't they give me a lift?
Well, it must be a plot!
'Cause their scared that I got...such a gift?
Well, I'm miffed
Cause I'm
The Greatest Star
I am by far!
But no one knows it—wait
They're gonna hear a voice
A silver flute (ah ooh ah ooh)
They'll cheer each toot
(Hey, that kid is terrific, mmm)
When I expose it
(Now can't ya see to look at me that)
I'm a natural Camille.
As Camille I just feel
I've so much to offer
(Hey, listen kid I know I'd be divine because)
I'm a natural cougher
(ahoo, aheh, ahay)
Some ain't got it, not a lump
I'm a great big clump of talent
Laugh!
(ha ha ha ha)
They'll bend in half
(Did you ever hear the story about the traveling salesman?)
A thousand jokes
(Stick around for the jokes!)
A thousand faces
I reiterate
When you're gifted, then you're gifted
These are facts
I've got no axe to grind
Hey, whaddaya blind?
In all of the world so far
I'm the greatest star
No autographs, please.
Ya think beautiful girls are gonna stay in style forever?
I should say not.
Any minute now they're gonna be out.
Finished!
Then it'll be my turn
Who is the pip with pizzazz?
Who is all ginger and jazz?
Who is as glamourous as?
Who's an American beauty rose?
With an American beauty NOSE!!!
And ten American beauty toes?
Eye on the target and what
One shot. One gun shot and BAM!
Hey, Mister Keeney!
Here I am!
I'm the greatest star
I am by far
But no one knows it
That's why I was born
I'll blow my horn
Till someone blows it
I'll light up like a light
Right up like a light
I'll flicker then flare up!
All the world's gonna stare up!
Looking down, you'll never see me,
Try the sky cause that'll be me!
I can make 'em cry!
I can make 'em sigh!
Someday, they'll clamor for my drama
Have you guessed yet?
Who's the best yet?
If you ain't I'll tell ya one more time.
You bet your last dime
In all of the world so far
I am the greatest, greatest star!
