The aliens known as Geoffee Bessonians invade today, resistance is futile, follow along and you will be fine.
We will soon evacuate to Mars, be careful though, there are some unknown beings on that planet, known as Elongated Musk Rats. They are gigantic, vicious, and carnivorous creatures.
We are forced to live underground eating only their feces. Don’t worry, you’ll get used to it, we will have to drink dirty water though.
A few years later we are moving to Pluto because the Elongated Musk Rats are eating to many of our own.
It will be a big change moving from a hot environment to a cold one, but thankfully there are only small predators there, and we can live on the surface.
We call the small predators Crusty Pratts, because they are are somehow genetically identical to Chris Pratt.
Don’t worry they don’t do much harm, but make sure to close your door at night or else they will sneak in and nibble on your toes.
It is not better than earth, but it is the best planet we will get to live on so far.
A few years later we will be finished with the top secret plan. To move to a planet far far away called Oragee.
It it much better than both Pluto and Earth combined, and we are bringing some biological specimens of the Crusty Pratts with us.
Oragee is a spectacular planet, but we must traverse through a perilous asteroid field to get there.
Luckily, our top engineers have designed our spacecraft to move just below light speed, and to resist the horrid asteroids.
Once we get there we can finally live out our final few years in peace.
We finally learn how to domesticate the Crusty Pratts, they are kind loving animals, and we have one named Advil.
Chris Pratt is now our king and we are happy with where we are. Best of luck!
From Future You
YOU ARE READING
Merry Crisis
HumorThe invasion of Christmas on December 25 2069. This is supposed to be a note from the future
