\|don't leave me alone|\ {hyunlix}

i promise u.

𝘾𝙤𝙡𝙙

it's so cold in here, I've been laying for so long, I guess I'm just tired of trying after all...but..those voices of people I don't even know... keep coming and going...all of them sounds familiar...but one of them always give me chills... like I'm longing for it to be heard....

I suddenly felt like I'm being held by something, but there's no one here... even though I got startled by the sudden touch it feels so nice and soft
...𝘴𝘰 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘨.... I let myself be held by it and I wish it won't let go of me.

I tried to reach out and yell at the top of my lungs...but as always nothing is being heard... I felt little drops of water on my cheeks... 𝘪𝘵'𝘴 𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨?... then I realized.. "oh... It's those stupid tears again..." I tried to wipe them off but they just kept on flowing...i still feel that hand on me and it kinda calm me down a bit... so I closed my eyes to float again in the air...

_𝘽𝙚𝙚𝙥 𝘽𝙚𝙚𝙥

I looked at him for a good 20 minutes that I can't see my surroundings anymore.. I can only see him...he looks so peaceful sleeping like that... It's like he refuses to get out of this shell he's been hiding inside of it for so long that he feels more safe in there... I don't blame him... I wouldn't want to get out...  "𝘣𝘰𝘬𝘪𝘦....𝘮𝘺 𝘣𝘢𝘣𝘺... 𝘥𝘰 𝘶 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘮𝘦..?...𝘪 𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘴 𝘶... 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴...𝘸𝘦'𝘳𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦, 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘶 𝘭𝘦𝘧𝘵....𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘭𝘦𝘧𝘵... 𝘸𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘬 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘸𝘦 𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰...𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘵 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘮𝘦 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘐 𝘭𝘦𝘵 𝘶 𝘥𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯,𝘭𝘪𝘹𝘪𝘦... 𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘶 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥'𝘷𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘶𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘶𝘦 𝘰𝘯 𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘸𝘢𝘭𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘥... 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘐'𝘮 𝘴𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘺... 𝘸𝘦'𝘳𝘦 𝘴𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘺,𝘧𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘹.... 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵'𝘴 𝘴𝘰 𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘥.."

silence is all that could be heard besides the sound of that machine in this depressing hospital room, I let out a long exhausted sigh, and kept holding onto his hand... " are u still awake?" I got startled by the sudden voice but as I recognized to whom it belongs I felt relaxed. I looked behind me and there stood chan hyung by the door with a few bags that he's holding, it seems like it's food.

"Hyung, how are you?" I said looking back at the angel that is right before me. a sigh has been heard but now it's not coming from me. "han called, he said that seungmin left today... he traveled to Sydney..." I looked up at him with not so wide eyes but I was taken aback by the new information.

I was surprised...cause seungmin said that he doesn't wanna leave felix and he'd stay here with him since he believes that one day he'll wake up.. but what happened now... "he said that seungmin wants to know more about where yongbok was born... said that felix would be by his side if he's there.."

I softened my face... seungmin was really close to lixie... I hope he's doing what he thinks is the best for him...

" wanna join me?, let's eat before it's cold" hyung said while putting down the bags and started to open them one by one... but I just shook my head. "I'm fine, u go ahead... I don't feel hungry"
I said while looking at the boy who's been laying there for the past 5 years.

"oh come on, u haven't been eating for a week now... u will get sick.. u know that lix won't like this, right?" I bite my lip.. "when he wakes up I'll eat, but as long as he's not eating I won't put anything inside of my mouth.." I was not lying about anything that I said earlier... I really won't even sleep if he won't wake up.

"please hyunjin... just one bite... for me... for him..." on the last part... I gave in and let go of felix's hand to go sit beside chan hyung to eat something.

as I sat down on the couch, the sound of that medical machine started getting higher and higher, 𝘽𝙀𝙀𝙋 𝘽𝙀𝙀𝙋 𝘽𝙀𝙀𝙋, chan hyung stormed out of the room to get a doctor and I ran to felix, I felt his heartbeat but it's almost heard... 𝘐𝘵'𝘴 𝘴𝘰 𝘭𝘰𝘸... just as I tried to grab his hand, the doctor came in and asked for us to leave the room.

chan hyung dragged me out while I protest against it, I wanted to stay with him, I wanna be beside him when he needs me... I promised him...that I would never let go of him anymore...

__it's so warm...this touch...i just feel safe whenever I sence this person's appearance...i just stared at the long distant... to nowhere... it felt scary but whenever I feel their touch on me I just feel home..silence filled the air...

"𝘣𝘰𝘬𝘪𝘦... 𝘮𝘺 𝘣𝘢𝘣𝘺... 𝘥𝘰 𝘶 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘮𝘦..?... 𝘐 𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘴 𝘶... 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴... " 𝘐𝘵'𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘷𝘰𝘪𝘤𝘦 𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯...  𝘐 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘰 𝘪𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦... "𝘸𝘦'𝘳𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦, 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘶 𝘭𝘦𝘧𝘵... 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘭𝘦𝘧𝘵....𝘸𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘬 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘸𝘦 𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰... 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘵 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘮𝘦 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘐 𝘭𝘦𝘵 𝘶 𝘥𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯,𝘭𝘪𝘹𝘪𝘦... 𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘶 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥'𝘷𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘶𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘶𝘦 𝘰𝘯 𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘸𝘢𝘭𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘥... 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘐'𝘮 𝘴𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘺... 𝘸𝘦'𝘳𝘦 𝘴𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘺, felix... that's so hard."..then everything went silent again... I wonder who's that person talking to... but they seem to be sad and it makes my heart aches...

I just want to get out of here and hug them so they won't feel alone... but it's almost impossible.

I don't even know if I'm alive.. or where am I... and how am I hearing those voices.... I started to gasp for air as I got a panic attack..𝘐 𝘤𝘢𝘯'𝘵 𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩...

they suddenly left... n-no... please don't.... don't let go!... please help me!!... p-please.... help....AHHHHHHHHHHHHhhh...just... please... let me out of here...

𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘱𝘶𝘭𝘭 𝘮𝘦 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘥𝘢𝘳𝘬 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘦...

𝘣𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘵'𝘴 𝘵𝘰𝘰 𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘦...

___{𝘥𝘰𝘰𝘳 𝘰𝘱𝘦𝘯}

We stood up just as we heard the door of the room that seperate us from felix being opened, "doctor, what's happening?! is he okay? he will survive right? please don't give up on him!!" I blurted out all things that I was afraid would happen to felix. " hyunjin, let doctor choi talk, okay?" said chan hyung, I just looked at the ground and nodded, but then doctor choi cleared his throat and I just looked up so fast to see his facial expression.

It doesn't seem like something so bad happened to felix, "it's actually so weird and unusual but ur friend had a panic attack inside his coma.. It's so rare bc he should be numb, not feeling or hearing anything...but it's seems like he was there and he's thinking too much" the doctor said it too fast that I didn't even believe what I was hearing.

felix is still there?!! "but... " ahhh no please not that... " It's not a good sign if he's having a panic attack, he shouldn't have any... It will effect his brain and he might not...." the doctor stopped talking and looked between us and then continued "u need to stay by his side...if it's possible don't ever leave him..if he doesn't have those panic attacks again... then he might have a chance to survive'

felix.... 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬....?

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