Etherwaves.

Headlights, and comebacks.

*Transmission starts...*

I can dream. I can daydream more than I ever were,Able to before. A sound of a raindrop now, sounds like choir.

I've been devastated, I found you.
I kept you, you ignored me.
 I still made you keep me.
You've been underestimated.
 I told you,
Under the simple breathing sounds of you sleeping,
Over phone calls, I whispered once.
"You're devastated because you let me in".
But you heard me too. There were no fence.
Only us, and you said, "I heard that, Alvi".
I was the only one transparent, wasn't I?
Because I don't hear you anymore. Can I?
I still try and remember, how you'd taste,
 That sweet scent at rainy nights, and odor of pastes.
But, I don't think I want to let you in there.
Because, now, you are the only thing I fear.
I used to protect you, I used to love.
I used to hold you, even when none would dare to love.
I, you let me be the "I" in your life.
 And 7 long months, I'm proud.
Nowadays, I look back, and remember how I let my feelings shroud.
Right before those hazel eyes of yours that I fell in love with.
Purely in love with.
Right before those heavenly fingernails that reflect a breath, civility.
Gratefully in love with.

I loved you. I did. I so did.
 I really, really did.
You loved me, sometimes.
 Sometimes a little bit more.
But, now that we both fell out of love just like that,
Would any one of us care to look ahead? Or look back?
I missed. There were a lot of things I missed.
You did too. Sometimes, sometimes a lot more.
But, now that we don't anymore, just like that,
Why keep the lace untied while there's a shoe rack?

I fell out of love. I hate to admit this.
 I feel the most guilt. But, we both knew we destroyed it just before we've built,
This. This enormous example of foolishness.
 Jumpstarting. Failed. Because...We're both fools.
 If not you then I am.
Because, you can't jumpstart love dear.
It feels exactly like a dam.
Slipping right between to be lucky and to be here.
Don't worry, dear. We were never the only ones here.
I'm supposed to apologize to you,
 But, you're not even here.
So, let me apologize even though, I know.You'd never take time reading this.
You never did.

This soul of yours can take more than rejection, I know.
This soul of yours is much more forbearing than mine, I know.
This beautiful face of yours is something, very undeniable, I know.
This soul of yours, have been protected too before. I know.
Here I am. Breaking your heart.
 Just like everyone else did.
Because, I'm just a "everyone else", to you too.
I were never special? I was. I so was.
 I were never loved? I was, mostly. I was.
I were never to be yours? Let's let fate decide,
And I think it'll decide otherwise to an affirmative.

But, a heart that's broke is a heart that's been loved.
And the way you felt, would always be more like a dove.
Because pigeons can send messages.
 Doves can send peace.
And I'd like you to have that, nothing else from me but peace.
I wish I could want more of y-

*Transmission ends...*

8:10 PM | 12th December, 2021