Again

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Why am I doing this again?
I swore I'd quit and replace blade with pen
I'm back here in this hole
I swear I can't breathe
I can see everyone else living fine
But no one can see me drowning
My demons are winning
They keep telling me I'm worthless
I know it's silly
But I believe them although I know their purpose
I don't know how much longer I'll last
I can't deal with the future, present or the past

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