[JoongDok] The Sun

The Sun (Eng)

The fifthteenth birthday.

It was the afternoon, when the gleaming sunlight covered everything like a red curtain and hung in his hair. Kim Dokja sat in the classroom, all alone, since everyone else had already left, with only a few spotted on the schoolyard. He just sat still and looked out the window blankly as if he was drowning in his own thoughts.

Kim Dokja did not want to return home. Since the day his mother murdered his father and went to prison, he had been living with relatives, but even when being his own flesh and blood, they hardly cared for him, or pitied him as if he were a miserable, helpless child. Clearly, he resented the look they gave him, because it made him feel pathetic and dejected.

Going to school was not better, either. Because of his introversion, he did not have many friends. Kim Dokja was bullied by people who disliked him, who would insult him by calling him names and beat him just because he was the very son of a murderer.

The twilight was so gorgeous that Kim Dokja soon got fascinated. He stood up, in a slow manner, and approached the window, trying to see the bright light even though it stung his eyes. A hot tear —maybe two— started to flow down his eyes, though Dokja did not understand what he was really crying for: was it his distress or just because his eyes were being burned?

"Ah."

From the faraway, the sun in the distance became even more tantalizing to the point it made Dokja speechless. Trains of thoughts overwhelmed his mind, and out of the blue, he reached out his hand, out of the window. Something urged him to go to the sun, where he could feel its warmth. He wished the night would not fall so that he would not have to go through unfathomable desolation all by himself, again.

The scene in front of his eyes blurred and Kim Dokja lifted himself slightly. Just a little more, maybe, his hand would really reach the sun.

"Kim Dokja? What are you doing?"

The door creaked and a warm voice came from the front of the class. Kim Dokja's mind immediately went sober and he turned his head. His eyes were filled with panic and confusion.

It was Yoo Joonghyuk - a classmate of his.

"I-I was just watching the sunset."

Kim Dokja tried to cover up his own actions, but Yoo Joonghyuk looked at him with furrowed brows, like he already guessed what was going on. Dokja's hands clenched tightly and he was unconsciously sweating. A feeling of humiliation welled up in him and he could not help but avoid eye-contact with Joonghyuk.

Of all the people, Yoo Joonghyuk was the only one Kim Dokja wanted to conceal his misfortune from. He was the complete opposite of Dokja: a talented, determined and admired person. In any field or whatsoever, Joonghyuk would always come out on top, as if he was born at the finish line.

That was why Kim Dokja hated and envied Yoo Joonghyuk, more than anyone else. He hated Yoo Joonghyuk because Joonghyuk was better than him, because he had many friends, and because of the confidence, or even arrogance, he always showed.

The air in the room seemed to freeze and a vague anxiety took over Kim Dokja, until he saw Yoo Joonghyuk move closer to him, only a foot away. He stepped back and pressed himself against the window, but Yoo Joonghyuk closed the door.

"Y-Yoo Joonghyuk..."

Yoo Joonghyuk stayed silent.

"Could you not tell this to anyone...?"

Kim Dokja felt his throat tightened. Maybe just uttering one more word, and he would break into pieces with tears overflowing.

"I won't tell."