Billie eilish | imagines

Why

It's gonna be a lil sad
Billies POV
Y/n's mom passed away about and they were always super close they were more like sisters than mother and daughter to be honest. She's been trying to hide the fact that it's really affecting her I can tell when she smiles it's not genuine but she won't talk to me about it and I don't know what to do. Her and Finneas are literally like brother and sister and everytime he asks her if she wants to talk or if she's ok she just says she's fine when I know she's not she stays at work really late everyday and goes to work really early Ik she barely sleeps or eats when she's home. I found a bag of weed in her underwear drawer the other day. It definitely scared me cause addiction runs in her family that's one of the reasons she was so close to her mom. She was the only person who was consistently stable for her, her entire life. But I haven't got the chance to ask her about it, I'm mainly just to scared to know what she would say. We haven't had sex in a while which might sound weird but she's a total sex animal. We used to do it every night almost I literally don't even remember what her dick feels like anymore but that's not the point. It's currently 2 am and she's actually sleeping rn while I'm just playing with her hair. All of the sudden she started shaking in her sleep "NO!!! NO NO NO!!!!!!" She screamed then shot up out of bed holding her head and breathing really hard "baby it's ok it's just me and you" I said softly wrapping my arms around her "I'm gonna go to the bathroom" she said getting out of bed and walking to our bathroom

It's been about 20 minutes since she went in to the bathroom and the first fifteen all I heard was light sobs coming from y/n but it's been silent for about five minutes which is scaring me so I decided to check on her "y/n, baby are you ok?" I said softly knocking on the door but there was no answer "y/n? Are you ok?" I said again a little louder but still no answer so I walked in and saw y/n on the floor leaned up against the cabinet beneath the sink sitting in a pool of blood coming from her wrists, thighs, and neck I bent down and grabbed her face in my hands moving one hand to her neck to try to find a pulse there was still a pulse but it was very faint "Y/N BABY LOOK AT ME!" I said she slowly turned her eyes to look at mine then down at her hand I looked at her hand to find an empty bottle of percaset that had some random persons name on them "no no no Y/N your gonna be ok alright just focus on my voice ok your going to be ok" I said with hope but still very unsure of my own words I grabbed my  phone out of my pocket calling 911 "please send someone my gf is bleeding out and she took a lot of percaset" I said with my other hand massaging her hair with tears running down my face "thank you please hurry" I said then the lady hung up "the paramedics are on their way baby just hang on a little bit longer ok" I said trying to control my own tears "I love you Billie" she said in a whisper "no no don't say that your not leaving me I won't let you die... please y/n I can't live without you" I said the last part really quietly all of the sudden she fell over and started seizing I put her in the recovery position and did everything I knew to do from learning it in health class and that's when I heard "MAM WHERE ARE YOU" from the paramedics "IN HERE PLEASE" I yelled back they came rushing into the bathroom "mam we need you to step back please" they said and lightly pulled me away "NARC" one of them yelled out grabbing a shot of narcan from another paramedic then stabbing her with it then grabbed another one and did the same thing "STRETCHER" one of them yelled out as he walked in with the stretcher and they picked her up and put her on it and rolled her out "mam you cant ride with her because of the severity of her circumstances" he said walking out of the house me following close behind as I called Finneas to pick me up and take me there

At the hospital
Me, Fin, and Claudia have been sitting here for about two hours waiting to hear something on y/n's condition me and Fin haven't said a word since I told both of them what happened "family of y/n y/l/n" a nurse said as she walked out of the back of the desk "yes is she ok" I said standing up and walking up to her "she's stable but she lost a lot of blood and we had to pump her stomach for the excess drugs, you can see her now if you would like she's awake" she said kindly and I shook my head then we all followed her back to y/n's room

When we walked in she was staring at the wall with a blank look on her face "guys can you give us a minute... please" I said looking at claudia and Finneas they both just looked at me then shook their heads then looked at y/n and walked out closing the door behind them I took a deep breath then turned around looking at her still staring blankly at the wall "look at me... please" I said swallowing hard before saying the last part she slowly moved her head to look me in the eyes for the first time since I've been in here. Her eyes flashed with so much pain when they met mine nothing but pure pain. "Why won't you talk to me?" I said as tears started slowly rolling down my face "why didn't you tell me you were having scary thoughts?" I questioned "I'm sorry Billie" she said as she looked down at her hands on her lap "I was right on the other side of the door   y/n, what would I have done if you didn't make it" I said "go be happier without me as a burden... go love someone who actually deserves your love" she said I couldn't believe her statement she thinks she's a burden and doesn't deserve my love are you for real? I walked up to her and put one hand softy on her face to make her face me the other grabbing her hand "I've never met someone more deserving of my love than you, you make me so happy it's crazy your not a burden to me I love you and everything that comes with you that includes the hurt the pain the trauma the nightmares everything. I'm here for all of it because I love you I want to help you through this I want you to talk to me about it not hold it all in until you finally break and... do this I know I could never truly understand what your going through in that beautiful head of your because I've never been through it but I have lost a couple of best friends before so I can try to understand either way your not alone y/n" I said she had a few tears running down her cheeks now "I'm so sorry Billie" she said as she began to full on sob I gently put her head in my chest I put one hand on the back of her neck and the other massaging the top of her head "it's ok baby it's ok" I whispered to her "it hurts so much Bil, it hurts" she said into my chest "I know my love I know it does but you gotta talk to me about it that's the only way it's gonna get better" I said "I know and I will just not here, you know if I could take it all back I would Im so sorry that I put you through that I thought if I did that everybody's problems would be solved, I'm sorry" she said as her crying slowed down "I know" I said in response she pulled her head out of my chest and looked directly at my eyes "I love you Billie" she said "I love you to y/n... more than you will ever know"
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Ummm let me know if y'all want a pt2 but I felt like this was a good kinda sad little imagine I had actually originally was gonna make it a cheating imagine but yk life happens and here we are anyways love y'all

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