Billie eilish | imagines

You are beautiful

I wasn't sure how to write this but if you don't like it I'll try to write a better one
T/W⚠️ Eating disorder ⚠️

Billies pov
I just got back home from hanging out with zoey we had a lot of fun but I can't help but to feel disgusted with myself and my body because I tried a bite of some cookies she made. I feel so fat I hate the way my body looks and feels that's all I've had to eat in the past week is one bite of a cookie and i feel so grossed out with myself. I was in recovery for a while but I relapsed a week ago because my ex told me I looked fat. Such a lame reason to relapse I know but I can't help it. y/n doesn't know and I'd like to keep it that way. She's been trying to get me out of the house this past week but I keep making up excuses because I know she's gonna make me eat something she's the biggest reason I'm even here right now her and my mom. I'm currently in my room curled in a ball on my bed and I had the best idea ever (sarcastically speaking of course) I went in to my bathroom and got on my knees leaning over the toilet sticking my fingers into the back of my throat making me gag I continued doing this until I threw up then I kept throwing up until the only thing coming up was stomach acid (A/N y'all ever thrown up so much that literal stomach acid comes up that shit burns bro -100000/10 would NOT recommend) I finish throwing up and just fell over on my bathroom floor not really caring to move until I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket I pulled it out seeing that it was y/n FaceTiming me of course I couldn't let her see me like this so I turned the camera off answering the call "hey baby" she said making me smile just the sound of her voice brings me so much happiness "hey" I said just above a whisper "what's wrong your voice sounds horse?" She asked sounding curious "nothing Im ok what are you doing" I said trying to avoid the question but she's way to stubborn to let it go that easily "Billie what did you do" she said sounding worried I started feeling really light headed and I couldn't answer her "Billie!?" "BILLIE!? ARE YOU OK?BILLIE PLEASE ANSWER ME!!" I heard her yell over the phone sounding really worried then everything went black

Y/N pov
"BILLIE!? ARE YOU OK?BILLIE PLEASE ANSWER ME!!" she wasn't replying and I knew something was wrong because she would have said something I was currently in shorts and a hoodie with some socks on. I decided to run to her house cause it's only a few blocks away and my car broke down yesterday I said fuck my shoes and ran in my socks all the way to her house

The minute I got inside I ran to her room and found it empty so I checked her bathroom and found her passed out on the floor I turned her shower on and pulled her into the tub spraying her with water to wake her up while holding her upper body up her eyes started to flutter open and she gasped for air as she finally woke up I turned the water off and just held her as she realized what was going on and began to cry "I'm so sorry y/n I'm so so sorry" she said with rapid staggered breath "shushshsh no baby it's ok it's not your fault" I waited for a second for her to calm down "come on let's get you in some dry clothes" I said pulling her up out of the tub with me bringing her into her room and laying her on her bed then went to her closet to get a pair of shorts and a baggy hoodie "here you go baby" I said handing them to her "y/n?" She said "yeah bubs" I said back "c-can you change me... I don't wanna see my body" she asked quietly this isn't the first time she's asked me this and I'm completely ok with doing it I just wish she could see herself through my eyes she's the most beautiful woman I've ever seen "of course baby"

Once I got done helping her change I went downstairs to the kitchen to get her some food because I know that's why she passed out and on top of that there was still a little throw up on her face before I sprayed her with water. I ended up making her some bean burritos and went back upstairs to eat them with her. "Hey Bub I made you some food it's your favorite bean burritos" I said quietly but excitedly "I'm not really hungry but thank you" she said looking at her phone "come on just a few bites it's really good I even brought some Taco Bell hot sauce for you too" I said trying to hand her the plate with the burritos on it "y/n I'm really not hungry" she said still not looking at me "Billie I know you haven't eaten today please just eat one bite that's all and I'll stop bothering you about it please" I said "yes I have I ate when I was with zoey earlier" she said while picking at her nails "what did you eat" I asked "I had a cookie" she said still picking at her nails "so if I call zoey she'll tell me you ate an entire cookie?" I asked "...no" she said "come on have one bite of the burrito that's all" I said "y/n please I really don't want it" she said finally looking at me with tears in her eyes "how long has it been Bil" I asked scared of her reply "um... a week" she said with tears flowing down her face while looking at her hands again making my stomach drop I just wrapped my arms around her and held her "I'm sorry y/n I'm so so sorry" she said holding onto me tightly "baby why are you sorry you didn't do anything wrong" I said confused "you deserve more than me I'm so fat and ugly" she said sniffling in my shoulder "no your not, your so beautiful and perfect I've never seen anyone prettier than you I don't know what I would do without you bils" I said and we just sat there for a while hugging eachother

"Will you eat part of the burrito now... please" I asked and she nodded her head on my shoulder "ok come on let's eat" I said pulling away from the hug grabbing the plate of burritos. Billie ended up eating a whole burrito and then we both fell asleep watching the office

I woke up about an hour and a half later to find that Billie wasn't next to me anymore and that's when I heard gagging noises coming from her bathroom so I immediately ran in there to find her leaned over the toilet with her fingers down her throat "Billie stop!" I said kinda loudly pulling her away from the toilet and pulling her fingers out of her mouth "LEG ME GO I HAVE TO GET IT OUT PLEASE!!" She yelled while crying and struggling to get away from me "NO BIL STOP!" I yelled making her slightly jump while I held her tightly and she stopped struggling "I'm sorry y/n I'm sorry I put you in this situation" she said now hugging me "don't be sorry just don't do it again" I said rubbing her back "I think you should go back to therapy bil" I said and she just shook her head yes giving me a nonverbal response I carried her back to bed and she immediately fell asleep in my arms and I stayed up watching her sleep because I had to much on my mind to sleep and she's just so pretty I'm so in love with this woman it's crazy. I hate that she relapsed and felt like she couldn't tell me but we're gonna get through this together I know it.

1 year later
It's been a year now and there's been a lot of ups and downs but Billie is so much better and me and her go to the gym regularly she's so much happier and that makes me happy

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I wasn't sure how to write this but let me know if y'all like it and if you don't then I'll be happy to write a different one but thank you for reading and remember you are beautiful other peoples opinions of you DO NOT define you and love yourself because there's only one you in the entire universe ❤️

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