Wilhemina's pov
I can't believe I almost called myself mama twice . I'm a caregiver but I haven't had a little in almost a year and now that I have y/n all I want is to be her mama and keep her safe . I looked down at her fast asleep in my arms and started rocking her slowly . She's so tiny it looks unhealthy . She only ever brings fruit to work for lunch and sometimes not even that but maybe she just doesn't get too hungry . I also don't know how much she eats at home and for all I know she can stuff her face at home and just has a fast metabolism . But now she's gonna be living with me so I'm gonna be able to keep a close eye on her . I'm so excited to have her live with me and I hope I'll be able to see more of her little side . Today is the most I've seen her slip but it was only because she was scared . Scared of her old caregiver it seems . My poor baby was crying so hard all I wanted was to take her home and cuddle with her in bed until she felt better but I had to remain professional . I noticed she started to suck her knuckle in her sleep and I wanted to get the pacifier out from my bag and slip it in her mouth but I was afraid that would scare her . But her hands are probably dirty and it's not good for her to have her dirty hand in her mouth . I decided my hand was most likely cleaner than hers so I slowly slipped out her knuckle from her mouth making her whimper and started smacking her lips moving her head around looking for something to suckle . I shushed her and slipped my knuckle between her lips and she calmed down and began suckling . She harshly suckled but after a while she calmed down but kept my knuckle in her mouth . She whimpered occasionally and would rub her cheek against my breast or would let go of my knuckle and move her head to try to suckle my breast through my shirt but I would move her head away and slip my knuckle back in her mouth and she would softly suck my knuckle for a while before falling back asleep . I want to breastfeed her but I don't want to do anything of the sort until she's awake and is able to talk to me about what she wants . I continued rocking her and kept my knuckle in her mouth to make sure she didn't wake up and tried to get as much work done as I could with a sleeping baby on my lap . She slept through the whole rest of the day only sometimes waking up for a few seconds but would fall back asleep quickly . Once the day was over I shut off my laptop and put away all my stuff before sitting back watching her sleep . She looked so peaceful and I almost didn't want to wake her up but I couldn't wait to take her to my house and show her around . I slowly pulled my knuckle away from her mouth and stoped rocking her which woke her up immediately . She started wailing and reaching for my hand again . When she realized she wasn't getting very far she laid her head back on my chest and continued crying
'Oh my poor baby I know you want to sleep but we gotta go to my house . Once we're there you can take a nap alright ?'
She looked up at me and I could tell by the extra softness in her eyes that she was really little . She couldn't keep her head up and laid it back down but continued looking up at me with tears running down her face . I wiped her tears and leaned down to leave a long kiss on her forehead . She stopped crying but when I pulled away she started whining again . I quickly kissed her again and watched her sigh contently and rub her face against my breast . I smiled at how sweet she was being and slowly stood up carrying her . I picked up my bag and handed her her blankie and Ella . I went back over to her desk to pack away all her stuff before getting her bag and going downstairs to where my driver was already waiting in my car for us . I want to hold her the whole car ride so I called him to come take us to my house . He opened the door for me when he saw my arms full and I put the bags in first before getting in myself . I cradled her on my lap and watched her coo and drool playing with her fingers and making other baby noises . I took Ella from her and rubbed the soft blanket against her face watching her close her eyes and smile when she felt the material against her cheek . I talked to her the whole drive even though she wasn't responding and probably didn't understand what I was saying . When we got to my house my baby was all giggles and didn't look sleepy anymore which I was happy about because now I can spend more time with her . My driver took the bags inside the house and I carried y/n on my hip into the house . My assistant Joe and my housekeeper Melissa ,who I don't like, both live in my house since I require their help all the time . They both obviously know I'm a caregiver and Joe would always take care of my past littles when I would be out . Melissa on the other hand wasn't too fond of my littles but she doesn't like children or babies in general so she just found them annoying . Melissa is a pain in the ass but she's Joe's sister and she's good at keeping things clean so as long as I don't have to talk to her it's alright . When Joe saw me walk in with y/n on my hip he jumped off the couch and ran over to us with his arms outstretched
