Commodity In Oddity (CatDog × Reader)

Prologue

"(Y/n)!" You jump from your phone and look up promptly at the green being hovered over your cubicle wall. A smirk forms at your obedient stumble.

"Yes?" Your innocent quip was ineffective.

"I need you to go down to the post office. We lost another one." Rancid Rabbit, your boss, glares to the side. "You're gonna have to step in and do it." Your mind sputters.

"What?" You sit up straight and clasp your hands in front of you. "I think you forgot; I write the paper. I don't deliver it."

He shrugs and props his elbow on the plastic wall unbothered. "Tell that to your record."

"You wouldn't."

"Watch me, doll." His smug sneer was enough to begrudgingly move you from your rolling office chair towards your bag hanging on the wall across the hallway.

Before you check the time on your phone, it's quickly removed from your hands. Rancid followed your form and was now reclined to the side in a sultry way, holding your device above your head. When you reach for it, he teasingly lifts it higher. "So, (Y/n), I was thinking after your shift maybe we could-"

You cut him off with a swift kick to the shin. Your phone drops back into your awaiting hand. "For the last time Rancid, no. I'm not afraid to take this up with HR."

You turn on your heel and walk towards the stairs, not wanting to endure anymore flirtatious endeavors. Before the stairwell door closes behind, you hear a faint 'I'm not either!' from your now-fuming boss. You can't help but laugh as a walk is just what you needed to get a quiet break.

-

Pulling the backpack strap closer to your torso almost caused you to tip over. This bike was old, worn, and overall a death-sentence. Not to mention the big hill coming up on your route.

It was funny. With the animal community being so evolved, you'd imagine that dogs would be able to control their urges to maul the paperboy-er-girl. You didn't ring the bicycle bell nor did you wear the signature hat; you were getting enough suspicious looks from the canine community as it was. "Hey, isn't that the paperboy's bike?"

"Nah, that bag's different. She isn't wearing the hat either. Don't bother." Phew.

The bird-lady at the post office was scrambling when you arrived and ushered you out the door. The fright on her face subsided once you mentioned that you were going to deliver the remaining orders. She only handed you one and as you were going to ask where the others were, she threw you on the bike and gave you a push. Luckily she didn't forget to point towards the hill far ahead as she ran back into the building. A small cry came as quick as it went following the doors' swing that should have raised concern. You didn't think much of it though; you didn't get paid enough to.

Standing now, you launch yourself up the steep incline. Sweat was trickling down your forehead as you thanked your past self for putting on deodorant. The peak was coming into view and only one house lingered in the center. Half fish and half dog-bone? Well, that's new. Again, not thinking much, you come to a stop by a mailbox. Don't cats and dogs, kinda, clash? Whoever lived here must be weird. You hop off the bike and park next to it. It looked like it was standing on it's last leg. No pun intended. You secure your personal bag slung around your body once more and gaze down to adjust your attire slightly, mainly your black flats. They were so dusty from that rusty motor-hazard.

You walk up the beaten path and causally not fall into the unsightly potholes littered around. Yikes, this place was pretty messy. Yeah, to say your curiosity was peaked would be an understatement. Just who lived here? Taking one of the last, few concrete steps has you barrelling backwards.

"Dog!"