Rain falls, hitting the window softly.
I lay in bed, face covered in tears.
It's past midnight, sunday morning.
My mind it overwhelmed with thought.
What just happened? Why?
Did i do something wrong?
Am i at fault here?
My world felt as thogh it was crashing down.
I lay in bed, slightly sobbing to myself.
I grasped my chest, hoping the pain would end.
The tearing i felt.. The heart ache that wouldn't seize.
My breathing unbalanced, as though oxygen was leaving me.
I imagined i was at the egde of a cliff.
Someone whispering in my ear to jump.
"All your problems will dissapear" It would chant.
It was so tempting. I took a step forward.
I was so slose, i could already taste it.
The possibility of being freed of pain.
Just a step away, if i just lift my foot..
Stop.
Back to reality.
I couldn't breath and the tears kept coming.
Its as though i was drowning myself.
But no way to resurface..
Trying to stop my heart from breaking.
I serched for my razor.
It would stop from thinking, seeing.
Everything would focus on the physical pain.
No.. I couldn't.
Not after everything i have said.
Minutes later, i start to calm down.
The pain is still there, but barable.
I wiped my face, makeup smearing everywhere.
I tried to stand up, but wasn't stable.
I rest my head on the pillow.
Closed my eyes, and listened.
It was quiet enough to hear my heart beating.
I was suprised it still could.
After such intense pain,
You'd think it would want to stop.
I know i did..
The rain kept falling.
It was three a.m.
I was exhausted.
As i lay in bed,
Waiting for sleep to take place.
I remember what was said.
And befor falling into unconsioness.
I mumbled to myself,
" Hold On.."
