The Secrets Behind Most Teens

Younger me

As you know, most people have childhood backgrounds. Mine is weird, idk why but I've always done things differently. So let's start off with the fact that when I was young, like super, maybe 7 or 8, I was watching shows I shouldn't have watched. As a normal kid you would... copy what you see. So I did, which isn't always a good thing. Basically I was caught with my moms son in a closet... naked... worst beaten I got. Oh shoot, forgot to mention I'm black, so you know that shit was bad. Anyway, I learned that at a young age I was VERY curious in that so called "subject". But not as curious as that little boy, anyway remember this story because I'm gonna bring it up again.

So as I'm in 1st grade, me and the family move. Which sucks because we had like one family down here. Anyway, I moved here with me Dad, Mom, sister , and cousin. We were all chilling till one day we dad, just... didn't come back. Basically he went back to our old state and got arrested like a fucking moron. Anyway, my mom, sister, cousin, and I were adjusting to living here. It was new and very much awkward but, we made it work. It's really hard to remember the big stuff, but after my dad left, my mom was pregnant. IT WAS HORRIBLE, whenever she threw up it sounded like a fucking horse dying, which is why I'm currently terrified by throw up now. Her going throw that was horrible for me, it gave me nightmares. But anywho, she ended up I guess having a miscarriage, but at the time I didn't know what that was so I went on with my life. Basically, life got extremely harder.

Eventually my mom met a new guy, who she was happy with, but I didn't really like the relationship given that she acted completely different. This was when I got my first "fuck everyone, fuck myself, what if I was to die right now" typa vibe. Everyone goes through it I suppose, but then I eventually learned to just, hide the pain, but mind you, I was in elementary school so as a child that's no good for the mental. But I just ignored all that and kept living free.

So maybe like 1 or 2 yrs later I'm in 3rd grade, and I'm at a whole new school, in an all girls class. And for the most part it's a bunch of black girls, but some were mean. I didn't really do the best when it came to math but I tried my hardest. Omg do anyone remember the FCAT, that shit was suppose to be the hardest test we ever take, now we are taking the fucking SAT/ACT ugh. Anyway, so I'm in this class and I made a friend who I super glued her fingers together, great times honestly.

Ok now let's move on to 5th grade, it's mostly the same girls and a few new people, everyone has become more like a woman compared to me. What I mean is that around this time you start to, "develop", your hitting puberty. But I didn't start growing until late. So ignore the school for right now. Let's dive home, around this time we have that same little boy from earlier, the one I got caught with in the closet, ye him. So him and his family move in with us, and he's a yr older, so he knows a little more than me. So, it's night time and sometimes he would basically, touch me in my sleep, at first I was like "no bruh wtf are you doing" but at some point I was kinda interested. We never had "sex" or anything, but he did suggest that he feel my itty bitties and I touch his smoll penis. I'm not gonna lie for him and not say it wasn't SA but it was more so peer pressure, well I mean they are similar. Once they moved out I was free again, but this time, more interested in sexual stuff that I shouldn't be thinking about.

Around this same time I was worried about periods. Before we dive back into the bomb I just dropped on all of you, I did have a small problem. Since I was in 5th grade, some girls got their grade periods, but not me, but I was kinda like a big perv. When ever a girl who was on their period went to the bathroom I would go to the bathroom and look in the trash. Oh gosh this is so hard for me to admit how fucked up I was, I'm so whimsy ugh. Okok, let's end this episode here, I have so much more to say in the middle school me episode lmao.