Split Decision

Unsent Messages

Another week has rolled around, and it's a day Risa has looked forward to the past weeks - her first acting workshop since she stepped foot in politics.

She checked and double-checked the contents of her bag to make sure she had everything she needed for what she needed to do before grabbing her phone. Risa headed downstairs to find Sinta studying for another exam while Hippo rested by her feet. "Hi, Love, I'm about to leave na."

Sinta stood up and hugged her mother. "Okay, Mama. Break a leg sa workshop!"

With Kiko moving out three years ago and Issa and Ianna about to follow suit, Sinta's the only one who will still live at home for the next few years.

Risa smiled and gazed at her youngest. She still has a few more years to go because of medical school, but she couldn't help but choke up a tear seeing her children fly off the nest one by one.

Can time stop even just for a little while?

"Ma, are you crying?" Sinta asked, interrupting Risa's thoughts.

"Wala, di lang ako mapaniwala that you're all growing up na," Risa said, wiping off her tears.

Risa became mother and father to her four children after Frank's sudden passing more than 21 years ago. She was the first witness to all of their milestones and was there for them as they grew up to the young adults they are today.

Now that three of them have jobs, established their relationships, and led their own lives, an opportunity presented itself to Risa when browsing her Facebook news feed - a Creative Musical Theater Workshop for adults in PETA.

Theater and music were Risa's first loves. Had the pull towards activism not changed her course, she would've continued with a professional career on the stage. Juggling motherhood and her political career meant that this dream had fallen by the wayside.

However, with this opportunity, she decided she would no longer let it pass. With slots being very competitive, it wasn't even guaranteed that she would get a slot until she got the call, so the moment she got in, there was no going back. I tell the kids to follow my bliss. Now, it's time to take steps to follow my own.

Risa reached for her phone out of habit so she could text Leni and tell her that she was ready to go, like what she usually does every Saturday. Saturday was always Pangga Day - a day where she and Leni go out, whether to hang out in one of their homes, get groceries in S&R, or just spend time in a park walking their dogs.

It was their small window of domestic bliss where they could just be Leni and Risa as a unit without the veneer of professionalism they needed to put on while in the Senate. During Pangga Say, they can call each other "Mahal" and "Pangga" without caring what other people say about their relationship.

Then, she remembered. Onga pala, walang Pangga Day ngayon.

Risa stuffed down all those negative thoughts and put her game face on before driving to the PETA Theater Center.

However, an even worse pain hit her when Leni's nonchalant reaction to Risa telling her about the workshops replayed in her head.

~~~

A week earlier...

Just before going down for the plenary session, Risa checked her personal email from her phone. She usually waits until she gets home to check her personal accounts, but there's a certain email she's been waiting for for the past couple of weeks. "Lord, sana makapasok ako."

After reloading the page, an email from PETA arrived with the subject, "Confirmation of Enrolment: Creative Musical Theater Workshop."

Risa opened the email that contained the confirmation of her slot in the workshop, the things she needed to bring on the first day, and any further instructions. Her ears clapped upon reading the entire thing. "This is happening! This is really happening! I'm going back to my first love!"

Never in her dreams would Risa think she'll return to the theater, especially while in the middle of her political career, but she didn't want to wait anymore. Something pulled her just to grab the opportunity and run with it.

She quickly bolted up and ran towards Leni's Senate office to tell her the good news. Upon reaching Leni's inner door, she knocked three times before coming in. "Hi, Lens."

"Uy, Ris, anong meron?" Leni said, not looking up from her paperwork.

"Remember when I told you nag-apply ako sa PETA a couple of weeks ago?" Risa said, sitting down in front of Leni's desk.

"Oh, tapos?"

Risa scrolled to the email and waved her phone to Leni's face. "Look, look!"

Leni simply looked up for a second and immediately resumed her work. "Ano yan?"

Risa bounced in her seat while getting Leni to look at the email. "Well, I got a slot in their Creative Musical Theater workshop."

To her surprise, Leni simply glanced at Risa's email and replied with a nonchalant expression. 'Congrats, Risa. Dream mo bumalik ng theater, diba?"

The smile on Risa's face fell as slowly as her heart did from hearing Leni's reaction. It felt like someone took a sledgehammer to her heart and shattered it to smithereens. "Oo, dream ko nga 'yon."

She quickly got up and walked out of Leni's office. "Sige, aalis na 'ko. Hindi na kita aabalahin pa."

Instead of heading to her office, she went to the Senators-only restroom, hid in one of the stalls, and let the tears fall.

~~~

Tears fell down Risa's eyes when she remembered that conversation. Never in a million years did Risa think their relationship would sink to this point, but it did.

Tinotoo niya pala talaga.

Throughout her drive, Risa tried to think happy thoughts. Risa, this is your dream. You'll get to act, sing, and dance on stage. Gusto mo 'to, diba?

Yet, she still couldn't shake the thought that had things weren't like this, she would've been getting a "break a leg" kiss from Leni after she drives her to the theater center, then maybe have dinner somewhere after the workshop while they talk about what they did that day.

Risa sighed and parked her car before heading to the room where the class would be held.

The first day of the workshop started with breathing and movement exercises that felt like a yoga class. Then, some basic vocalization exercises served as a warm-up for the rest of the class.

Five hours of enacting musical scenes with fellow actors, singing her heart out, and joking around with her classmates allowed her to forget about real life, even for a short time. It took her back to the main reason she fell in love with theater and music as a child, and here she was five decades later, back to the life she would've led had she not gotten into politics.

Time flew by so fast, and the first day of the workshop had ended. After class, her classmates approached her individually or in small groups, talking about how her laws helped them or taking selfies with her, which she happily obliged.

Once everyone had their turn with her, Risa waved at her classmates and gave everyone a flying kiss before heading out to her car. Perhaps due to force of habit, Risa reached for her phone and texted Leni's number. "Ga, kakatapos ko lang ng workshop. Kwento ko sa 'yo pag-uwi."

Then, before sending it, she remembered.

Wala nga pala akong uuwian ngayon.