Friends to lovers

Strangers to friends

Okay okay, you might giggle a little when I tell you this. But honestly, I find gingers attractive.

No no no. Let's start from the beginning. Long story short, I was scrolling through my quick add one night.

As I was laying in bed in my hoodie and shorts I finally found a guy. Yeah yeah, judge me all you want. But he had curly hair. At least that's what his bitmojie displayed to me.

Anyways, I added him. Hoping for him to add me back. I anxiously waited for a while and nothing. I decided to give up and put my phone down for a little while. I dozed off in a deep sleep that night.

The next morning once I realized someone added me back, I prayed it was him. It's not like I had a crush on him already or anything, but I guess you could say I had a thing for guys with curly or fluffy hair.

I remember feeling some type of way... not knowing if I should look or just leave it pending. Finally I had the nerve to look. It was him. I snapped him right away. He said his name was James.

I don't remember too much of what I said, but all I remember is how we clicked instantly. Like we've known each other forever.

We talked all day and all night. I can't really describe to you how I was feeling. But I knew some day we wouldn't just be friends.

I was too afraid to be with a guy like that. Knowing that we have become friends... I worried that if I got with him and if we broke up, everything between us would be ruined. So, my naive self went to go through a bunch of relationships.

He decided to go his own way and get into relationships as well. But something hit me one day. Actually, not something. Someone. Let's call him Taylor for privacy reasons. He had deep blue eyes with curly brown hair (it wasn't natural it was permed). We had a good relationship for the first 2 or 3 months. Then something clicked in him. His whole attitude changed which threw me off.

A couple months went by and we were arguing every day and every night. We would scream at each other over the phone. I'd go to bed crying every night. As you can see, it wasn't the healthiest relationship. And yeah, you may be calling me dumb. But when you've been in a toxic, controlling, manipulative relationship for a good 5 months it fucks with your head. You don't know how to escape.

After a while I left. I couldn't deal with that anymore. I decided to go back to talking to James but at the time he was in a relationship with a girl named Sara. Of course I was jealous, but was I going to say anything? Of course not! I kept my mouth shut and started playing guys and dating boys like it was nothing.

Eventually, I got into another toxic relationship. He would go on my account constantly and would block James. He knew something was up. James was hurt. He thought I blocked him and ghosted him. Fortunately that's wasn't the case.

A couple weeks go past and of course that relationship was a fluke. Let's just say... I had a rough phase and I ran away at one point. I didn't know how to control my emotions and a couple screws were lose inside my head.

I lived with my best friend for a week before coming back home. Now, during that process I was trying to figure out who I haven't texted back yet. And it finally clicked it. James.