Carry On

Where Do We Go From Here?

Today was the day of her brother's service. Gia'd been going through the motions for her family and she was absolutely exhausted. Her friends had been staying with her for a couple days to help her with Gianni, as she was in no state of mind to entertain her. She could complete tasks like diaper changes, fixing bottles, and giving her baths, but aside from that, she found herself unable to maintain focus.

She was sitting in her mom's house after the funeral. Their friends and family were packed into the home. There were so many people there, including Giovanni's coworkers from his marketing firm. Gio was loved by everyone he met and he was largely impactful in their community. There were people coming in and out of the house and Gia was just ready to go.

She sat with Gianni, feeding her, as her mom kept busy with fixing food, cleaning up after their guests, and trying to make sure she spoke to everyone who came in. Gia had no energy for anything of the sort, so it was good that Ms. Grace was trying to stay on her feet to keep from breaking down.

Jordie and Kenzie were by her side today as well. They tried not to check on her too often so they wouldn't irritate her, but couldn't help themselves when they saw she wasn't eating again.

"Gia boo, don't you want to put something on your stomach?" Jordyn looked concerned for her friend, but she couldn't blame her. She knew that Gio was her whole world and her grieving process would be hard.

"I had some bread earlier and I have my water, so I'm okay." She attempted a half smile but it didn't convince her friends. Kenzie and Jordyn shared a look. "Have you guys seen Jaden around? I thought I saw him come in." She changed the subject, noticing the looks on their faces.

"Yeah, he's helping your mom out in the kitchen. He came in a couple minutes ago and beelined for Ms. Grace."

"Okay." She returned to her somber expression.

She and Jaden had been together for about a year and a half, after being partnered up for a project in a lit class. They began talking shortly after, after he surprised her by actually participating in the project and giving quality insights into the topic. From there, they spent a lot of time together, including time with each others' families. Ms. Grace was really fond of him and Jaden considered her family.

He rounded the corner and came to sit on the other side of Gia.

"Hey, love."He pressed a kiss to her temple. She replied with a simple "hey". He knew her well and knew she wouldn't want to be embraced in this moment. In fact, she hadn't wanted to be comforted since the night her heart shattered.

10 days ago

10:07 pm

She turned the handle in her hand. Gia could feel her heart pumping almost through her chest and could hear her blood rushing to her head. She took slow, nervous steps to the table where her brother lay still - too still. She slowly made her way toward the top of the table where his head lay.

When she saw his face, a silent sob took over her body. She would have fallen, if Jordyn had not been standing right behind her and caught her. She cried so hard that no sound was made and she didn't breathe. When she finally took a breath, the next sound that came out of her body was unnatural. She wailed so loudly, her body unable to hold her. Jordyn couldn't hold her either, so she sat them both on the floor, holding her as she cried.

Jordyn's own silent tears escaped, her heart breaking for her best friend. She loved Gio too, and his loss saddened her, but her friend's pain broke her spirit.

They sat there for what felt like hours. When Gia was finally able to stand, she went to her brother. She laid her hand on his cheek. "I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." She whispered to him, her tears flowing freely.