Women of War - A Band of Brothers Story

In Between: Esther and Catherine

A/N: Another two months have passed since the last update. How does time fly so quickly?? And how is it that I spent a good month completely stuck on this chapter and then suddenly wrote about 3/4 of it in the span of four days? Anyways, I'm once again sorry to keep you all waiting for so long and I truly appreciate your patience and encouragement. I'm so happy that you still enjoy the story and I love hearing your thoughts about it.

Warning: this chapter mentions and deals with depression-like symptoms such as feeling numb and disconnected as well as parts of PTDS like flashbacks, jumpiness and feeling isolated and lonely. If these are sensitive subjects for you, please proceed with caution and take care of yourselves.

***

Esther saw ghosts everywhere. The streets of New York, especially near the harbour, were constantly teeming with returning soldiers and sailors and airmen. Familiar faces, faces of people she knew were long gone, flashed in the corner of her eye and vanished when she looked. A burst of laughter from a WAVE lieutenant reminded her so much of Susannah, one of the women in her company who had died on D-Day, that it stole the air from her lungs. The displays of camaraderie and friendship between brothers in arms, the teasing, the smiles, the nudges and the arms slung casually around shoulders... the sight grated against her ribcage and hollowed out her chest. So many times, she caught herself turning to say something to Steve, Jumbo or Lipinski, only to find empty air next to her.

Her parents noticed, of course, but pretended not to. They didn't know what to do or say, how to ask. They worried, so Esther pretended as well. She learned to ignore the faces at the fringes of her field of vision, to hide her flinches at unexpected noises, to pretend like she wasn't flooded by a fierce yearning and loneliness when she saw a group of girls chatting animatedly or some young men jostling each other in good fun.

Her mother urged her to go out with old friends, so she went, only to feel disconnected and like an outsider. Mary-Beth, Ruth and Gloria had been her best friends. Around the same age, the four of them had all worked in the secretary pool of a medium-sized law firm. They had taken their lunch breaks together, commiserated about some of their rude or inept co-workers, gone out dancing in the evenings or on outings on the weekend.

But that had been before. The quartet had become a trio in her absence, growing closer until the empty spot in their group disappeared. Until there was no more space for a fourth.

Esther and her time in the Army were interesting for all of fifteen minutes before conversation turned to the latest news in the other women's daily lives. Esther listened and smiled and mhm-ed in the appropriate places as the three women chatted about motherhood and married life and running a household, laughed at inside jokes and reminded each other of events from a year or two ago.

Mary-Beth had gotten married and had welcomed her third child four months ago. Ruth's husband had made a fortune in the arms industry and they were expecting their first child. Gloria, the youngest of them at 23, was the only one still working at Ross & Wembley and she was waiting for her sweetheart to propose.

Sitting in Mary-Beth's living room amidst baby pictures and toys, Esther listened and smiled and took a sip of too sweet coffee whenever her smile slipped.

***

Benjamin Silverton approached her outside the synagogue one sunny Saturday and asked her out to go dancing. Her father had been dropping hints about the young man seeming interested in her ever since Esther had started coming to the synagogue again. Because she knew Abba was worried about her, she accepted.

As far as nightclubs went, The Latin Quarter was a popular place and for good reason. The food was great, the music excellent and the atmosphere energetic and brimming with life. A big band was playing and people had a good time both on and off the dance floor. Benjamin was a fairly competent dancer, and a nice guy. They danced and made small-talk and over dinner, conversation meandered through a variety of light topics, though Esther found it hard to focus since Benjamin was more talking at her than to her. He acknowledged her contributions and opinions, but always continued his tangents.