JENLISA: I NAMED US GRIEF

Perhaps in different time I would have named us hope.

PART1

Time passes so quickly, its already 2030. It looks like it was yesterday we celebrated our 6th year anniversary. Its been 14 years since we debuted already and I am 34, Jisoo unnnie is 35, Chaeyoung and Lisa are 33. But we are still Blackpink and always will be. Its been 3 years since we went on hiatus. We all live different lives now, at different place, with different people . Its been so long since I remember we were together. I see Jisoo unnie and Chaeyoung in some events and we also hangout once in a while.
Whereas Lisa (deep sigh)....

I have not met her since like ages. I only see her in internet. She now lives in Paris. She is even bigger star now, bigger than Kpop. I have not seen her in last  2 years, she rarely comes to Korea.

I miss her.........

Sometimes roads does not go as we planned. It goes where its written to be. Never in my wildest dreams I thought we would come to face this dynamics. We were like two sides of the coin always together, we still are but now in respect of we can never see each other.

I miss her silently Like when I walk into Every room hoping To find you.

Today I have everything, name, fame, respect, money - everything except one thing........
There is this pain caused by the absence of you. It never goes away and never will. They say that pain of separation increases the love in you. Not a single day goes by when I do not think about you, about us.

I guess I am already nobody to you. I keep looking at your pictures, and you still smile a lot. You look happy. That is what I have already wanted for you, but now looking at you like that hurts me so bad. I hate the that you are happy without me. I wrote you messages and deleted them over and over again, I think I still have not gathered that much courage.

I'm a mess, I keep reading our texts. I hope you also look for me, check my pictures, think about me, like I do. You can call me heartless but I hope it hurts when you think of me, I hope you regret more than I do, I hope it aches when you hear my name, and I hope you still love me. I am a wreck, but I won't let it show (burst in tears).

I was taking you for granted never realised the danger. I took too long to understand and now you're gone. Only if I knew right from wrong. I always meant to hold you closer but you slipped through my fingers.

I'd be happy for you, if you say you're happier with someone else. But honestly just the thought of it hurts like hell. I know it ain't my business cause I'm the one who asked for distance. But are you alone? And maybe you'll judge me if I said that I hope you still love me.

All this time you have been thinking I moved on, but I waited for you. Even if tried, I could never let you go. I hope you know that I waited and I'm always waiting for you.