Salt and the Sea

Intro : State Lines - Novo Amor

Chapter Notes :

Hi loves! So this is the introduction for my new story and honestly, I'm so exited to write it. I just completed and finished my other fic but this one I've had plans of writing for a long time.

Before we get into it, however, I will be posting chapter by chapter. This will be a longer story but I will be finishing it eventually. I wrote a version of this story a while ago but didn't really like how it was going. Instead, I started fresh and know more of how I want it to appear. This story will deal a lot with grief, depression, homophobia (not main characters themselves), and suicidal thoughts. I'll do by best to portray those characteristics correctly and as I have felt them myself.

This is a fanfic but it is also just a story. No characters are real people (even if they have the same names) and I don't want anyone to relate the boys or their families to people I write about. This is just the outlet I use and feel comfortable with while sharing the things I write.

Now anyways, I hope you like this story and stick around. It would mean the world to me. I will be posting this on AO3 with each update as well, so no need for posting it there. I would not like anyone to translate this story as well. Thank you as always. Now here is the introduction for Salt and the Sea. - Izzy <3

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Song : State Lines - Novo Amor

August 8th (entry one)

I never thought I would leave. I never thought I'd be anywhere but in that small town forever, never moving, never changing. Now as I watch everything I have ever known disappear from view, I can't help thinking that maybe all of this, all that's happened, all I've done, was so I could be here. Right now. Alone. Traveling somewhere no one knows and starting something new. Starting over.

The last time I was thinking about leaving, I told him about it. I mean, I told him everything anyways so this wasn't any different. I thought that maybe, if I had him by my side it would be easier. I thought that maybe he would be willing to go. Obviously, he wasn't. He never was really keen on doing things spontaneously, unlike me. I was always the spontaneous one. The one who did things in the moment just because they sounded fun. The one who would drag others through the mud just because it would be funny to look back on later. The one who tried so hard to be accepted that I made everyone just hate me anyways. I was too loud, or not loud enough. I was too busy, or not busy enough. I was too mean, not mean enough. Too sad, too happy. Too smart, too dumb.

The thing with people is they only ever see what they want, what they need. If you show up at the right place at the right time, magically boom, you're welcome. But when you show up at the wrong place, at the wrong time, you are banished and or forgotten. In the small town I grew up in, Doncaster, everyone already knew everyone and if one person didn't like you, it was made well known, especially in school. That's why when Andrew, or Drew, entered my life, I craved what he gave me. He didn't pretend to like me. He didn't force me to be happy all the time or hide the fact that I do try to be smart. He welcomed it instead. Part of me wishes he hadn't. If he hadn't, things wouldn't have happened like they had. But I guess that's what makes life the disaster it is. You go through, meet people you expect to have forever, and then they are just taken from you. Never a day like the one before it. Never a memory left in peace. Just changes and tragic losses and regrets. Always so many fucking regrets.

I guess that's why I'm leaving. Too many regrets. Too many memories just sitting wishing to be forgotten. It should have been me. It always should have been me. Everyone wanted it to be me. I wish it had been me. But nope! Life just fucks everyone over in the end. Takes someone who has a life worth living and makes the one person who doesn't deserve a life, live every day knowing it should have been them. But here we are... Here I am. Going to the coast, to try and make me someone I am not just like when I was a kid. Maybe this time, life will do me a favor and take me like they took him. I hope it does.    - Louis x