Ventingwithwriting

4

broke down at 1:30 after getting Anna's text for the rp. She hadn't answered me all that day and just seeing her answer the rp hurt me. I cant remember the last time we said love you to each other and it honestly hurts. I know shes having a bad time but I still want her to text me a little. I know it's a bit selfish but I love her even if she just said one simple hi I would feel better. I hate how little we've talked this summer. to me its seeming like last summer.

Us not talking for weeks And ignoring messages. I honestly hate this and it hurts. I do want to mention it but I dont think I can I feel like it would be hurting her. I do want to make stuff between us better cause I dont want her to be sad. I've been having a hard time this last month or two. I'm still trying to make it right. Everything is getting thrown on me. Me losing my Friend my sister and ***** moving soon, my mother not caring, my brother being rude and my self.

All of this has been hard and Is not helping me figure out what's going on with my arm isnt helping. I havent been able to let out my emotions and talk about them because I need to be happy for my family and what I have left of my friends. To them I'm someone who they can go to for help with their problems and I want to stay that person even if it hurts me. I was remembering My Ex ******* and Remember how I helped my friend get with her

My friend liked my Ex so I helped her get with her. I was also friends with the person my Ex cheated with me on and I stayed friends with her . I kept Dating my Ex thinking it would get better because i loved her. Four times none worked. Me and my Ex were together for a year the first time, a couple months for the second,  Two months for the third, and two week for the last. Now I'm remembering my girlfriend. We almost dated for a year two before she broke up with me.

She broke up with me because she lost feelings. And We stayed friends after that which was nice till I found out she had feelings for our friend ****. Honestly I has rooting for them to get together so she could be happy. John was right by my Side after he found out I still liked her. My Friend **** thought I was cheating on My Girlfriend which I wasn't but since my Ex 'liked me' My name in her phone was Baby so that happened.

  I'm just 14 and I havent been a kid this whole time. My life has been ruined by multiple people that I keep going back to. Nobody likes to stay with me in my life. I wish I could go back and stop myself from Bscking my Ex that would save me so much hurt. Everything hurts and now I'm to sensitive, I now have trust issues. My life is fucked up from people and most likely I wont be able to live out the rest of my teen years like a teen.

I thought I was getting better but I wasn't. I was never getting better. Not one bit.