Our Father

Chapter 14

Grace stood in front of her children, staring at them in anger.
"Well?" She asked, the anger rising within her.
"We threw a party" Miles shrugged.
"I can see that. What the hell were you thinking!?" She threw her hands up in the air before she folded them over her chest again. The kids stayed silent, not wanting to answer their mother or meet her angry gaze "Alex has a sensory processing disorder. Loud noises hurt their ears and you all know this so why was music blasting?" She questioned them.
"I told them it was fine mom. It was my fault too" Alex's voice was quiet.
"Archer and Oliver, I can smell the alcohol on you. You could loose your scholarships or even break a bone which would cause you to loose your scholarships!" Grace shouted at her twins.
"We never do anything like this" Archer started.
"It was just once mom" Oliver muttered.
"If I had come into your room a minute later Mason could've had you naked and I'm guessing he wouldn't have any protection with him" Grace stared at her daughter who didn't dare answer in fear of making the situation worse. 
"And you. What were you thinking? Because clearly this party was your idea. So, please, explain yourself" Grace stared at her eldest.
"I was thinking that my mother doesn't give two shits and she's fucking the man that hurt her" Miles shot back.
"Language!" Grace threw back.
"Oh fuck you. Dad is an asshole who is only going to hurt you!" Miles shouted stepping towards her.
"Well that's for me to find out not you!" She challenged, stepping closer to him. Miles looked down at his mother, seeing a mark just under the collar of her shirt.
"I can't believe this, Mrs Green was right" he laughed stepping away from her "You've not been away on holiday. You've been fucking dad all weekend" The silence in the room became deafening.
"Mom? Care to explain yourself?" Poppy asked, her arms folding over her chest.
"I don't have to explain anything to you" Grace said confidently.
"Mom, you tell us everything" Alexs's voice seemed childlike.
"Not this time. I don't have to explain myself or what or who I choose to do-"
"Well neither do I. I'm 21. Chloe is my girlfriend and we bought an apartment together" Miles told her.
"What!?" Grace froze in shock.
"I love her but I told her that I couldn't leave you especially not with dad around. But hey since your all buddy buddy with him I guess I can go and move in with her" Miles left the room without argument. They listened as his bedroom door slammed behind him.
"Gracie" Silas whispered holding onto her shoulders.
"I don't know anything about my children" She whispered.
"Mom-" Archer started but Grace cut him off.
"Your grounded"
"What!?" They all gasped.
"Poppy your seventeen and as long as you live in my house I won't have you sneaking boys in. Archer and Oliver you may be eighteen but your not old enough to drink so your all grounded" Grace told them.
"What about Alex?" Poppy whined.
"Alex was sat in their room with their headphones on because of their disorder" Grace explained "Go to your rooms. Please...just...go to bed" Grace sighed moving to sit at the kitchen table, her face in her hands. The kids left as silently as they could, their bedroom doors clicking shut, echoing throughout the silent house.
"Gracie" Silas whispered his hands sliding over her shoulders. Grace stood up from the table quickly and attempted to move away but Silas caught her by her waist, seeing her blotchy cheeks and tearful eyes "This isn't your fault" he gently rubbed his thumb against her cheek, trying to sooth her.
"This is all my fault. Why did I get into bed with you? You smirked at me and I fell for it" she cried harder heading upstairs quickly, followed by Silas. She slammed her bedroom door behind her, locking it, locking Silas out.
"Gracie let me in. Gracie please. Talk to me" he shouted through the door. Grace cried harder, her hand covering her mouth to silence her cries "Please Gracie, let me help" he begged.
"Go away. Leave me alone. Please" she begged, the tears coming faster. Grace listened as Silas's footsteps retreated down the hall and left the house. She watched at the window as his car left the drive and disappeared down the street. She knelt on the floor by her bed, wiping her tears on her sleeve before she pulled out a box. She pulled off the lid and took out the sharpener blade. She moved to the mirror, unzipping her jeans she pulled them down slightly enough to see the other mark that she had put there. Grace brought the blade close to her skin, holding it there waiting for herself to slice her skin but she couldn't. She threw the blade to the floor, running a hand through her hair in anger.
"Fuck. Fuck" She cursed moving to sit under the window. She took out her phone and dialed the familiar number.
"Hello Grace it's late to be calling. What can I do for you?" Doctor Peter smiled down the phone.
"I need my prescription again" she told him sniffly.
"Oh. What happened this time?"
"I had the blade again" she began crying again.
"I'll have it filled for you. Do you need me to call anyone for you? I could come and sit with you tonight if you need" he offered.
"No thank you. I think I can manage"
"Gracie. You don't have to shoulder it all. If your struggling it's okay to admit it you don't have to go through anything alone" he assured her.
"If I let people in, if I tell them how bad it's gotten inside my head, I'm terrified the world is going to come crashing down on me. I don't think I could survive it" she admitted.
"I'll be over first thing. If you need anything call me or someone. Just don't do anything too rash"
"Okay, goodnight"
"Goodnight Grace" Grace hung up the phone and let all her pain and anger out, her tears soaking through the knees on her jeans.
Miles careful tiptoed from outside his mother's room back into his, reaching for his phone to call Chloe.
"Hey it's me. I can't come tonight, they obviously know about us but I can't leave mom she needs me. I'll talk to you at work. Okay, love you, bye" Miles hung up the phone and fell to his bed with a deep sigh.

Flashback:
Miles pushed open the door to his mother's bedroom.
"Mom. I've bought you breakfast" Miles told her. He carried in a tray of her favorite breakfast foods, chocolate chip pancakes with whipped cream, a croissant and orange juice "I've got your meds from the doc too" he told her. Grace lay silent on her side, facing away from the door "Mom. You need to take you pills" he told her.
"Please Miles. Just stop" she muttered.
"The kids need you. I need you mom" he told her, the childlike tone in his voice made her turn to him.
"I'm trying. I'm trying as hard as I can" she cried.
"I know mom. Just promise me today you'll get up and shower. That's it. One step at a time" he squeezed her hand reassuringly.
"Okay" she nodded.
After Miles had left for work, Grace walked around the house, going room from room. Everywhere she looked there were reminders of Silas, reminders of what had happened over the past few months. She headed back to the bathroom and switched on the shower, looking at herself in the mirror as the room filled with steam. She picked up the packet of razors and took one out, breaking it apart until she had one blade in her hand. She held it against her hip, waiting, willing herself to do it, until she did. She winced at the pain before she watched the blood roll down her leg, creating a red patch on her pajama bottoms. The door swung open revealing Miles.
"God mom I'm sorry-" he froze seeing her with the blade in her hand and the blood dripping down her leg.
"I needed to feel something instead of numbness" she told him, dropping the blade into the sink, she left the bathroom, leaving the shower running and Miles standing there in utter shock.