just between us.

crash

Elliot Miller

I've been waiting for this my whole life. Since I was a boy, messing around with this little girl that I grew up with, playing in sand boxes and running in our back yards. I don't think I could've ever really prepared myself for what it would've felt like to actually kiss her. To hold her. To touch her.

And now, now Im holding her in my arms, carrying her up the stairs to lay her down to sleep. Somehow this moment feels even more connected than our kiss, something that we've both been trying to push down, conceal, it's finally here.

I tried my best to keep my movements light as I stepped into the guest room, her arms draped around my shoulders, completely out of it.

The guest room was nice, it had its own closet and a comfortable bed, but something in me wished she could just stay with me instead. As much as I would love to bring her to my room and hold her as she slept, I couldn't do that if she didn't tell me she wanted to first.

She grumbled a bit as I laid her down. For a moment I thought I'd woken her but she just stretched her arms before falling back to sleep again. After I'd pulled her blankets over her and turned out the lights.

By the time I'd laid down in my bed I regretted not laying in hers, but I figured it was a bit soon for that. We had kissed but we weren't anything official yet.

As I fell asleep part of me was screaming to go to her.

Violet Flores

I was woken the next morning by the sound of my phone buzzing like crazy. I figured it was one of my friends spamming me, so I tried to ignore it for a little while.

And then there was more buzzing.

And more.

As if it was even possible, more.

I was more annoyed than worried, so I picked up my phone begrudgingly, groaning a bit as I was still half asleep. I probably shouldn't have been half asleep at 11:48 but it happens.

The buzzing stopped when I had finally picked it up, seeing my mothers contact from iMessages about a million times. Now I was getting worried. My mother never reaches out, she says when she needs something or if she would like to comment on what i'm doing wrong in my life, and then she leaves me alone.

Time felt sort of frozen when I read her texts. That weird shaky feeling where you knew something really bad had happened.

The words played out in my head a few times.

Dad.
Car accident.
Last night.
Drunk driver.

sorry.
i'm sorry.

Your dad.
In a car.
Accident.
Last night.
There was.
A drunk driver.

SORRY.
IM SORRY.

I didn't want her to be sorry. I wanted her to be joking. I wanted her to shut up. I wanted to know that this was some sort of cruel joke she was pulling. I couldn't respond. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't think. I couldn't.

I couldn't.
I couldn't.
I cant.
I won't.

I won't believe it. I cant believe it. I choose not to believe it. Why? What does she mean? My dad? That one? Not some random person named dad?

I don't get it.

I cant breathe at all.

I cant.