prologue

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The dark had always scared (Y/n), even as a child. Not being able to see a whole room made his mind wander, and his mind had never been quite pleasant. But now, strung up to the ceiling like a butchered pig carcass, (Y/n) vastly preferred the dark. At least in the dark, he couldn't see Zhou Xin or his snarling face. The man grimaced, teeth grinding together as his shoulder joints ached, threatening to dislocate. He couldn't remember the last time he had been allowed to set his arms down my his sides but it had to have been days at least. He had been stuck in a depressive melancholy fugue for so long that he hardly heard the sound of the door being yanked open, an abusive aura pressing down on him.

Zhou Xin entered, a displeased look on his face as per usual. (Y/n) flinched at every footstep as Zhou Xin stalked closer, hands folded behind his back. The damp air in the dungeon lowered to the point where (Y/n) swore he could see small puffs of his own shallow breaths. The gilded boots that stopped right in front of his field of vision made (Y/n) shiver and dread whatever would come next. Zhou Xin ghosted thin fingers over the bony ladder of (Y/n)'s bent spine, feeling each knot slowly, almost sensually. It made the breath in (Y/n)'s throat turn stale. 

(Y/n), however, did not get much reprieve from the tension. Instead, it was rudely broken by the sharp pain the blossomed from where Zhou Xin lifted his fist and punched down on (Y/n)'s spine, hearing the sound of his ribs cracking as he coughed. 

"Filthy wretch," he growled, fist clenched so hard his reddened knuckles started turning white. "You dare speak out of place to your guards?" (Y/n) jerked his head up to desperately gaze at the mad lord before him, shaking his head. 

"I hav - " His voice cracked painfully from disuse and dehydration before he could finish his sentence, but Zhou Xin wouldn't have let him finish anyway. He outstretched his hand for his sword, a gorgeously crafted thing had (Y/n) not known just how much blood the shining blade had been soaked in. It practically reeked of death, even from where it shone across the cell. 

"I told you not to talk to anyone," Zhou Xin growled, strands falling out of his topknot and sticking to his sweaty, enraged face. It made him look insane. "And yet you directly disobey? And then you LIE?!" (Y/n) could've burst into tears at his bottom lip quivered but he was so dehydrated he could hardly squeeze a single drop out. Those same elegantly thin hands that had once smoothed out (Y/n)'s hanfu lapels before meetings knotted themselves through the loose strands of (h/c) hair and yanked his head down, exposing the clear expanse of his nape. The only part of (Y/n) left unmarred, scarless and clean, besides his face. The concubine's heart began to race as his nose became stuffy.

"I didn't talk to anyone," he whimpered, voice painfully raspy and dry. Zhou Xin didn't seem to hear him though. 

"You have disobeyed my orders and made a FOOL of me for the last time, you cur! You'll wish you've never been born." The pain as Zhou Xin decapitated his lover was shocking, but brief. The cut was clean and (Y/n)'s head separated from his body with ease, Zhou Xin lifting it by the hair still tangled around his fingers to look his concubine in his dead fluttering eyes. It didn't take long for a jolt to travel up Zhou Xin's spine, him dropping (Y/n)'s severed head to the blood splattered ground and throwing his sword to the side. He watched what used to be his lover, his dove, roll against the stone floor, facing away from him. A cold tightness gripped his chest and he turned with a sharp flourish of his robes, eyes squeezing closed as he face the door. 

"Clean him up," he ordered quietly, although it lacked his usual bite. "I want this all ... gone." As his servants and guards gave him an affirmative, he stormed out of the dungeon, arms wrapped around himself. He'd always had a vicious temper, he knew that. But he didn't ... He hadn't expected ... He gripped his sleeves and hurried up into the bright courtyard, letting the sun beat down on him. It didn't comfort him like he hoped it would. Instead it felt harsh, like the judging eye of a giant god. It glared at him, spurned him. Like the light of the sun burned him, he rushed across the courtyard, stumbling into his room. Curse the sun, he cried. Curse the sun, curse (Y/n), curse everything. He fell to his knees, hands tangling in his own strands and ruining his bun. 

He didn't want anything anymore. 

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