Heart Surgery (BxB)

The surgery 2

"Alright, I got the new heart. Its a bit rusty but I guess it will do." Harold sighed deeply

"Well shove it in, what are you waiting for?" Vincent whispered "thats what she said"

"Stop making these jokes, its inappropriate and you're not funny."

"Right right."

"Lets just finish, im tired." Harold rolled his eyes

"That is also what she s-"
Harold threw an a glass cup at Vincent's head, which he manadged to catch before it  and shattered  "Im dying laughing" Harold added

"Lets just start already, all you do is procrastinate."

Vincent and Harold walked over to the patient
"Are you sure he's alive? How long can people live without hearts?" Harold gulped

"It's fine, I'm an expert." Vincent smirked

"You better be."

Vincent takes the heart into his hand and squeezes it slowly
"Wait a minute, this is kinda....cmon Harold you have to try this"

"What? I'm not gonna- wait this is kind of like a stress ball" Harold accidentally dropped it
"Oh fuck oh shit it's dusty now"

"I dont think he'll mind." Vincent chuckled, focusing now on the surgery

"Oh God, we're definetly going to get fired." Harold cried out

"Don't worry, I work best under pressure!"
"You ONLY work under pressure."

Vincent looked around..."So do we like..glue this on?"

"What? Are you fucking kidding? You said you were an expert?!"

"I MAY have lied." Vincent scratched the back of his neck "let's google it"

"Are you fucking insan- is that pornhub"
Harold's face dropped

"Oops, forgot to turn of incognito. Oh, there we go."

"I don't think Quora is a good source."

"Its fine, its fine. Why dont you go get a snack from the vending machine while we wait?"

"What? Why would I-"
Vincent handed him a ten dollar bill
"Fine, then. What do you want?"

"Something edible."

Harold walked out the door a little bit confused

He returend a minute later
"I bought you some nuts, you seem like a guy who likes nuts."

He opened his bag of skittles and popped a green one into his mouth
"Anyhow, let us proceed."

Harold suddenly dropped the bag of skittles in shock, making them spill everywhere

"V-Vincent...WHY IS HIS RIBCAGE EMPTY?!"

"I dunno. I didn't eat anything." Vincent said, sweating as if he killed somebody again

"YOU ATE HIS ORGANS?"

"ARE YOU DEAF? I SAID I DIDNT."

Harold lunged at the man and started choking him
Vincent just smirked
"I CAN CLEARLY SEE THE BLOOD AROUND YOUR MOUTH AND HIS ORGANS ARE GONE!"

"You were taking too long with the snacks" Vincent barely manadged to cough out

"Well?! What the fuck are you gonna do about this?!"

Vincent silently pulled out his phone, punching in a number

The person answered right away
"Hello, Kristoph. I'm in a bit of a pickle right now. No, I didn't kill anybody...not this time.."

"What do you mean "not this tim-"?" Harold looked concerned

"So, Kristoph. I'm in need of some fresh organs. No, not for eating. For a little...transplant I'm doing. Yes, as quick as possible. Lungs, a stomach, bladder and a heart..oh, a liver as well...and a pair of kidneys."

Harold just looked at him in pure horror

"Who the fuck was that."

"Oh, just my brother."

"How the hell is he planning to get in? I doubt the reception will let him."

He's bright, he'll figure it out and arrive here soo-"
They heard tapping on the window "-ner than I expected. Way to go."

"Hey Kristoph, you got the stuff?"

"Hey Vinnie, I've got it here."

"Vinnie?" Harold gagged "Hey! Where the hell did you get these?"

Kristoph raised an eyebrow "A magician never reveals his secrets." he jumped out the window

"Whatever, I'm too tired for this anyways. Just put the damn heart in. The rest of his organs too, I guess."

"Can you tell which is the left kidney and which is the right?"

"Those are his lungs. Get glasses, you asshole."

Vincent put in his lungs first, then his kidneys.
He was surprisingly good at this.

"What about the- his heart is upside down."

"Huh?"

"His heart is a stranger things reference."

"Fucking nerd. I've pulled apart and put back many people like this." Vincent rolled his eyes

"And how many survived?" Harold sighed

"I never intended for them to survive."

"Oh." Harold looked at him in horror "Just let me do it. I looked it up earlier."

"Didn't you like...actually go to college? How are you this bad at your job?" Vincent sighed "Did you suck the proffesors off for grades?"

"Only sometimes." Harold frowned "You have no right to talk. How did you get qualified to do this?"

"I didn't. I bought my diploma."

"Oh."

"I shouldn't have slept through biology class."

"It would be much better if we just ran away after you ate the organs..." Harold smacked his head in agony

"And started a family togheter." Vincent added

"What?"

"What what?" Vincent smiled innocently

Vincent pulled out some concealer and some special effects makeup

"What's that for?"

"To cover up the stiches, duh." Vincent smiled

"You're...you're way too experienced at cutting people up." Harold said in horror "God , he looks hideous."

"That's just his face." Vincent laughed, "He's in his Edward Scissorhands era."

"His Edwhat-"

"Well, I guess that's all for today. Jimmy died but at least we're not going to prison.."

"It went well enough." Harold sighed

"Well, see you tommorow." Vincent bit his lip and winked

"If i have to." Harold blushed