"We didn't used to be this way," Jungguk sobbed, shoulders shaking, "The seven of us used to be okay. What happened?"
Yoongi swallowed hard, feeling as though he may cry. But he knew he wouldn't, despite the tightness in his throat; Yoongi hadn't cr...
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Taehyung's wails echoed through the walls of their dorm. Loud, exhausting screams of agony that carried the emotion of all seven members. Because six of them could control their stress and misery, hide the internal suffering. How did they keep it all together? They always seemed so okay.
But Taehyung... Poor, highly-sensitive, too emotional, Taehyung had a spacious enough heart to feel the stress of all their intertwined lives. And tonight, the darkness swallowed him up and left him sobbing on the bathroom floor until sobbing wasn't enough to ease the profound ache. He swore he felt his heart explode in his chest, and the emotions were forced up into his throat. They released themselves into the air in unexpected screams that tore up his vocal cords.
He didn't know what was happening. Half of his consciousness seemed gone, leaving him fuzzy and floating in the void. While at the same time, he had never been more present in a moment, never more painfully alive. Though the floor tiles were painfully freezing beneath him, sweat dripped into his eyes, filling them back up as tears spilled out.
He screamed again, unprompted, as though someone else had possessed his body and made him do it.
It was loud. Loud enough to make up for all of the times he was silent, all of the times he should have said no or otherwise expressed his needs and just didn't. It scared him to hear his voice at such a volume and so damn raw.
I'm losing my mind, he swore, as his throat began to burn and he wished he could silence himself but couldn't.
He didn't hear the footsteps barreling down the hallway—he didn't even know anyone had come home—until the bathroom door flew open.
Namjoon.
Still in his coat and his shoes, dripping melted snow onto the floor. His eyes were round and huge with terror.
His mouth was moving but Taehyung couldn't hear him. He had finally shut himself up, but now the blood pounded too loudly in his head, and his ears rang too harshly, for him to understand anything else. He could only sob, plagued with embarrassment and shame and fear of what could possibly happen next, now that Namjoon knew what an ugly state of mind he was in—now that he knew Tae was crazy.
"Taehyung!"
The younger man could hear again, just barely, now that his hyung was kneeling in front of him, gripping him by the shoulders. But Taehyung didn't want to talk, didn't think he even had the ability to, anymore. He covered his eyes with his trembling palm and kept on sobbing.
"Oh, god, why are you bleeding? What happened?!"
Leave me alone, please! The words wouldn't come out.
"How did you get hurt?!" Namjoon demanded, voice so thickly laced with worry and panic and everything anxious.
Taehyung thought he might pass out. Or spontaneously fall asleep. Or just fucking die. Something. For it felt like all too much to handle. His mind, his body, his soul all wanted to give up. He wanted to give up. He didn't want to be an idol anymore. He didn't want the pressure. He hated that he had lost his chance at a normal life. At a family. At a career. At being anything but V from BTS.
