A Blooming Rose

Chapter 54

I didn't go down for breakfast, I didn't go down for lunch, I didn't go down for dinner. I didn't go down to see my family when they came over, I didn't hug the kids, and I didn't see Mason.

Aiden had come to my room around an hour after everyone had come and knocked on my door trying to get me to unlock it. He sat outside my room for god knows how long till Hayley got him to leave and took his place.

She tried bribing me with cake and presents but my mood was too foul to give in. I didn't want to be sitting in the living room sulking while everyone was so happy. I didn't want to bring the entire mood down.

After telling her I wasn't feeling good and just wanted to nap, she sighed and left. The growing pit in my stomach got worse and worse and all I wanted to do was cry. I've made everyone upset today, intentionally or not, I have.

Mason wasn't wrong, I do lie to him. It's the one thing I know he hates but I do it anyway because I can't help myself. I hate how he'd take the world on for me but won't let me do the same. He protects me from anything and everything but won't let me do the same.

Sure, I have to be honest with him and tell him anything that happens because ultimately our safety means the most. But then I have this horrible picture of a stressed out Mason painted in my head and I feel so much worse.

I hate being the reason anyone is ever stressed out, I really do. A guilty feeling buries itself in my heart and it doesn't get any better till the problem is gone. But even then, something new happens and that same guilty feeling shows up.

In middle school I used to get bullied for a good amount of time before Austin found out and told dad. It was the older kids that thought I could get out of anything and everything because Austin was the vice principal. They'd force me to do their dirty work or they'd do horrible things like throw a fart bomb in my locker, or hide my clothes after gym.

Maybe that's where it started. I saw how stressed out dad was with work, trying to balance both his surgeries and being at home with me. Aiden moved away for college so I barely saw him, and Elijah was already trying to get his way into the FBI. I don't blame anyone, it's just how I am.

When dad found out that a couple kids were giving me trouble, he was furious. Both at me but mostly at them. He said I was silly for thinking I couldn't tell him and I was, I still am. All it did was add to the stress. After that day, he'd ask me how school was and if anyone was giving me any trouble every single day. I could tell it was on his mind for the longest time.

I feel the same with Mason. He's juggling work, school, keeping me safe and happy, and the stuff going on with his sperm donor. I hate to add things one after the other when I can just keep it to myself and deal with it.

Getting up from my bed, I held onto the headboard to steady myself before closing my eyes and tilting my head back to face the ceiling. I took in a couple breaths before making my way to the bathroom.

Before I could open the door, I heard a very specific knock come from the door. One I created with dad when I was three so I knew it was him when he came to visit my secret room in my closet.

Staring at the door, I contemplated for a couple seconds whether or not if I should open it. Sighing, I unlocked the door and opened it an inch to see dad leaning against the wall with a plate of food in his hand.

The sight of him alone brought tears to my eyes and I wanted to just close the door and cry all over again. But before I could, he gently pushed the door open and welcomed himself in.

Sitting on my bed, he put the plate of food in between us before sitting down himself.

"Do I have to feed you? I didn't think I had to do that after you turned one and a half and insisted you do everything yourself." He chuckled as a small smile made its way to my lips.