A Bit of Wolf in Her

18. Pros and cons

"How are you? Besides the obvious?" Stella asked, pulling out of the Delaney's driveway where Lydia was nowhere in sight.

"I have to get used to moving in slow motion, but considering the alternative, I'm fine."

Stella chuckled. "Did you tell them?" When Winnie nodded, Stella prodded further. "So? What happened?"

Winnie shrugged. "She gave me a thumbs-up and wished me good luck on all future endeavors."

Stella rolled her eyes as she started her car and pulled out of the Delaney's driveway. "Jesus, you're not hunting the Easter Bunny in a bad Christmas movie. You're leaving, while the threat is still very real and very much at large."

As if Winnie needed a reminder. "If it's a Christmas movie, why would I be hunting the Easter Bunny?"

"I was trying to make a point, smartass." Winnie chuckled before laying her head against the cool window, closing her eyes. Not because she was tired, but because the weight of the situation was pressing down on her hard. "I'm behind you one-hundred percent. But are you sure you don't want to wait until the end of the year? I mean you've been through a lot together this past year and even though it triggers my gag reflex just saying it, the Delaney's are your friends now too. Kind of."

They stopped in front of the Andrei's residence and Stella turned to her, frowning. Winnie huffed, tired of having the same conversation over and over with different people. "Why does it matter when I leave if the leaving part is inevitable anyway?"

"Why does it matter? Winnie, Jesus, a few weeks ago you almost died and now you're leaving. You're practically inviting your parents to find you."

She couldn't help but scoff and got out of the car, knowing that arguing would get here nowhere. "I made it a whole year without them finding me, Stella."

"But then they did."

Winnie wished she could throw her hands in the air and scream out her frustration like a toddler throwing a tantrum. She wanted to tell all of them the thousand reasons she wanted to leave and the thousand reasons she wanted to stay. That she was scared shitless of leaving but would rather face death than her own conflicted, convoluted feelings. If anyone could tell what she was thinking, it was Stella but she looked at her only like she had been betrayed.

Maybe Stella wasn't so supportive of her decision as Winnie had thought.

"I've accepted my fate of accepting my fate, Stella. Maybe you should do the same."

She slammed the car door shut, not missing the hurt on her face as she headed inside. Winnie let herself bawl her eyes out for the first time since coming out of the hospital. She cried for Oz, for his death, for being the one who killed him. In relief that she was still alive, that her friends were okay, that the Delaney's hadn't suffered through something that could change their lives forever. Winnie cried about having to leave, about wanting it while also not wanting it. About the life she would have had in Seaford, about the life she could have had with Oz, and the life with him until that point. All of it. Winnie didn't know how long she was crying, but the sun started setting. She ran out of places on her shirt to wipe her runny nose on.

*

Winnie was on her third cigarette of the last hour, running through the checklist in her head. Miles slipped past her as he packed the last of her bags in the cab, and Winnie closed the door behind him. Gabriela stood by his side, already in tears. Miles wound his arm around his sister. She felt bad for the cab driver, who witnessed to the emotional rollercoaster of her and her friends all morning. Winne, as much as she wanted to avoid said rollercoaster, was grateful they were there to see her off. 

The Delaney's had surprised her the day before with a cake but Elijah hadn't been there. Winnie didn't know how to feel about the boy being a no show. Lydia had hugged her tightly.

"I'm sorry Elijah isn't here but I know he's just as sad that you're going as the rest of us."

She had only smiled at Lydia and hugged her back tightly. Noah stood, waiting for them to finish with a sheepish look on his handsome face and waited for Winnie to give him permission to wrap his arms around her.

"I hope you know how sorry I am about everything. All I ever wanted was to take care of you."

"Listen, it's over now, we're moving on. But we value second chances now, right?" He nodded and as they pulled away from each other, something over his shoulder caught her eye. 

Elijah?

Nobody else seemed to notice his presence or they didn't care. 

"Ready?" Stella asked gently and Winnie turned her back on Elijah so she could hug her friends one last time. "Just be safe for fuck's sake, okay?" Stella whispered and Winnie smiled, nodding her head. Miles kissed her on the cheek and the four of them watched Winnie get in the cab.

Blinking back tears, she waved at them until they were out of sight. The driver asked her if he could turn up the radio and Winnie could only nod. She couldn't hear anything over the beating of her heart anyway. Not taking in the scenery of the small town, they soon passed the sign letting her know she was officially exiting Seaford.

Oz's face popped up in her mind's eye. Her parents were first on her agenda. No more running, she silently promised herself. People like Miles and Stella - and sure maybe even the Delaney's - deserved to live without looking over their shoulders because of her. 

After being granted permission by the driver to light a cigarette, Winnie sighed. It wasn't a happy sigh or anything, just a sigh recognising that at least for now, the fight was over.