Back To You

Part 8

Warnings - pining, despair, divorced couple, crying

"Timothée, I just don't know. This is a lot to take in all at once," I sighed, and watched his face fall.

"Can I think about it?" I asked.

"Of course, take all the time you need," he told me kindly.

"Could I, uh, kiss you? To maybe remind you what it could be like," he asked.

"Okay, but nothing more," I said. He nodded solemnly. He pulled me in gently. His lips were soft against mine. He was gentle, as our lips slotted together perfectly. It reminded me of our wedding kiss, and I had to pull back.

"I can Um, sleep in the spare bedroom, if you like," he said, shoving his hands in his pockets awkwardly.

"No, no, I'll sleep in the spare, you're more used to this bed than that one," I waved him off.

"Okay," he said awkwardly.

"Can you at least tell me if it's leaning in a positive or negative direction he asked.

"I'll tell you this, I'm definitely still attracted to you," I said. It was all I could offer him, I couldn't give him something serious only to crush his hopes.

"That's not really an answer," I heard him grumble as I left. I didn't sleep the the entire night. When I finally got up, Timothée was no where to be found. All his stuff was gone and a note was left on my bed.

"Really sorry about this, but it's kinda torture being here with you knowing. The bed smells like you and I couldn't sleep because I kept crying. Sorry, not saying any of this to guilt you. I went home, I'll be over periodically to see Julian, but I just can't be there permanently. It isn't good for my mental state, and I want to be the best dad I can be."

My heart broke a little reading the letter.

Well, days passed and the house felt so empty without Timothée. I felt myself laughing less, feeling anxious and sad. It was like it had been right after the divorce. But I had picked myself up, I had worked everything out, I had done the hard work. Was I ready to become vulnerable to being in that state of despair again. Could I handle it a second time if it did happen?

I got a text from Timothée. "They want me back on set immediately, would I be okay to go to France or am I still needed? Not trying to be selfish, want a genuine answer. I would leave tomorrow at 5pm"

"You're fine to go to France," I texted back. "I'll hold down the fort."

He hadn't pressed me for an answer, but he was probably sad I hadn't said I needed him here.