Only you and me

Trying

He closes his eyes only trying to breath in this moment, he tries to breath in, but he chokes somehow and panics more because he can't fucking breath. "Everybody out of the room" He hears Harry's low voice, and he sounds mad, fucking fuck this doesn't help. Before the room is quiet, he hears Zayn 's voice again "Liam get me water in that bottle with the straw and ask Harry if he has something like a stress ball." There is a pause before Zayn says "Okay Lou I know you can hear me breath in, breath out good" He focuses only on what Zayn says and it works he breaths in, not deep but it is something. "Again, breath in, breath out" they do that until Liam comes back with the water and his breathing gets deeper and deeper. "Babes I have water for you, you can keep your eyes closed I put the straw in you mouth, okay?" Louis nods. The water feels good in his mouth, he is so grateful for Zayn, it felt like he was going to die. They sit there breathing in and out with a few sips off water in between them.

Liam comes back "I have a juggle ball hope that is okay" he hears him say. "That is perfect, Zayn says. "Louis I grab your hand from your hair so I can put a ball in it" he feels Zayn's hand carefully grab his hand out of his hair and he feels a soft little ball been places in his hand. "Okay really good now your other hand" Zayn grabs his hand and places it around the other, "please say it if you want something, you can open your eyes whenever you're ready, it's just Liam and Zayn in here yeah?" Louis nods. He plays with the ball and relaxes a little more; he lets his head hang against the wall.

"I'm sorry for this" Louis says when he opens his eyes, "ruined the whole night for all off you". His voice is strained, and he knows he has been crying while he panicked.

"Don't be sorry babes" Zayn's voice is calmer than before. "Something clearly triggered you into a panic attack". Liam looks concerned and that makes Louis feel insecure, everyone now knows how fucked up he is.

"Liam" Jade says when she walks in "Harry is going crazy in there Niall and Perrie try to keep him calm, but it is not working anymore" Liam stands up to walk out with Jade.

They sit in silence on the floor for a few minutes, "I need a smoke Zee" Louis says. Zayn nods and they get up to grab their jackets and cigarettes, before they go out to the patio. He likes the lounge set on it; it is feels just as comfy as a normal couch.

"When are we going home Zee?" Louis says when he is finally fully relaxed and puts on his second cigarette.

"Uhm whenever you are ready, I think? I can go whenever you want."

"You don't have to leave but my therapist says I need to think about going home"

"I needed to talk to you about this. My sister hates the student housing, and she can leave there if she gives a notice before February." He is going to be kicked out, Zayn's dad bought the apartment for his kids. Louis was lucky Zayn's older sister left before they moved to London and was lucky again when his little sister wanted to try the student housing. He pays rent for his room, but he can't find a place for him alone for that money. "We don't want to kick you out, but we need to make a decision fast" Louis nods, this whole situation gets worse and worse. "I didn't want to tell you because of everything that already happened. I talked with Liam about it, I can live with him for a while, and you can stay in our apartment" That is nice, but it feels wrong, now Zayn needs to leave his house so Louis can stay there, it doesn't make sense to him.

Harry walks in on that moment with Liam close behind him. "You don't have to do that; I will figure something out" he says while Harry sits next to him but a lot further away than normal. He knows Harry freaked out and he hopes that it won't take Harry too long to come closer to him again.

"What are you talking about?" Liam asks.

"The housing situation" Zayn says while moving closer to Liam "finally told him and said I can stay with you, so he doesn't have to worry".